For the Children Who Do Not Know Me

I had to stop by the pharmacy today. When I returned to my car, I glanced at the elementary school playground across the street. At least two dozen children scampered about, climbing, running, swinging over equipment, while laughing and shouting at one another. For several minutes, I sat in my car and watched them: a playground filled with joy. And suddenly, an urge to pray for these children swept over me.

What is going to happen to them? What will these children have to endure? The world that is forming will not be kind to them. In this fleeting moment, the playground is a vibrant hub of happiness, but what lies ahead for them once they leave? Because we know it won’t be joy or happiness. 

And so I prayed for a playground of school children I did not know and whose parents I didn’t know. I prayed for protection, and peace, and provision in their lives. I prayed for someone to be placed in their life to lead them to salvation. 

I don’t know why this happened today. I pass that school often, going in one direction or another. So what was different about today? I’m clueless. I was looking for some medication. Nothing more. I drove away, still praying until I reached the next street. 

It’s impossible to determine the potential impact of that prayer on those children. As I mentioned earlier, I’m not acquainted with any of them or their relatives. I'll never have the answer. I only know someone prompted me to pray for that group of children. Why that group? Not everyone in the school was present. 

I think I’m satisfied with not knowing. Part of me wonders, but I trust God. And I know, if it weren’t important, I wouldn’t have felt the need to pray for them. It isn’t something I normally do. 

But I wonder how often we’re prompted this way, and we ignore it. What would be the effects of ignoring it? Again, we’ll never know. But the potential difference is profound given the events that are happening in our schools across our nation. 

The problem with our nation, with our world, is no one is praying. Not even the best Christians. Oh, we pray for our acquaintances, our church families, our own families. And yet, the most memorable story Jesus told was of none of these. Instead, he talked about the Good Samaritan taking care of someone he did not know, and who wouldn’t give him the time of day. 

I hope He continues to prompt me to pray for a school, or a home where there is a need, or a person on the street. For people I do not know and who will never know me. 

I Can't Imagine

Image from Pixabay

The other day I heard a new song about the Lord's Prayer. It was on the radio in the car, though I don't remember the name. I rarely listen to the radio anywhere. I liked the song. 

A few days before this, I was listening to something or reading about prayer and it covered the Lord's Prayer. I had one of those profound moments that seem to happen more often these days. On the off chance you're not familiar with this prayer, it is located in Matthew 3, Mark 11, and Luke 11. It is:

After this manner, therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-13.

In my mind, the last line of the prayer seemed to echo over and over, becoming a prayer itself. "For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and The Glory, Forever!" It seemed to just roll over and over. I was overwhelmed by that one line for sometime, unable to fathom why I had never heard it before. I have heard this prayer hundreds, if not thousands. Most school children of my generation could recite it without missing a word. And yet, in that moment, it was as if I had never known the last line of that prayer. 

No, it wasn't rational. It made little sense. A week later, I still don't know why this struck me in such a fashion. It just did. 

All I could think of in that moment was, what if the whole world prayed that one line together? What if one country stood and prayed that one line loudly? What if in every meeting, in every ballpark, in every school, in every store, in every street, car, and bus? What if that line was the end of every prayer we prayed, every petition we uttered? 

What if every cry in the darkest place was "For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory Forever!"

What would happen? 

I can't imagine.

A Busy Week and a Grateful Heart

I'm so tired! I'm going to bed but I really need to post this. Something has sidetracked me two or three times this week.

You've had a busy weekend and a busy week. 

You are amazing. I've felt so good and just so....I don't know even know. Mentally and physically. I've just had a wonderful week. Able to get things done without a lot of pain or stress.

You're welcome, but you did all the work.

I couldn't have done it if you had not helped me. Did I say thank you?

Several times in the car today and every day this week. You must keep your eyes on the road, you know.

Yeah, yeah, I know. But suddenly, I was just so excited and elated. You know how I get. What a week!

I do. Still, try to focus on your driving. I can wait till you get home.

I couldn't! You're really amazing, and I'm just so grateful. 

Get to bed. 

Right. Good night!

#ConversationsWithHim

My Morning Prayer for 2022

 My Prayer for 2022

Psalms 119:33-40

33 Teach me, O Lord, the way of Your statutes,

And I shall keep it to the end.

34 Give me understanding, and I shall keep Your law;

Indeed, I shall observe it with my whole heart.

35 Make me walk in the path of Your commandments,

For I delight in it.

36 Incline my heart to Your testimonies,

And not to covetousness.

37 Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,

And revive me in Your way.

38 Establish Your word to Your servant,

Who is devoted to fearing You.

39 Turn away my reproach which I dread,

For Your judgments are good.

40 Behold, I long for Your precepts;

Revive me in Your righteousness.

I'm So Sick!

I’ve been praying for some people specifically lately. Several contacts have health issues and others I pray for as a matter of course. Family is on the list, as are my pastor’s family and my friends. As I prayed for a specific problem, I realized I wasn’t actually praying about the “illness”. I was praying for a “symptom.” 

That thought stopped me in my tracks. 

With all my health problems, I can’t see any of them. They’re internal: immune system, liver, joints, ligaments. I have a disease that's invisible to everyone. I can see the damage to joints, feel the intense pain in my joints and ligaments, experience the brain fog, fatigue, and constant aches. That isn't the disease. Those are all symptoms of a more serious problem. 

When we see sin in anyone’s life, we’re not seeing the problem. We’re seeing a symptom of an underlying disease. The spiritual problem is not visible, maybe not even to the victim. Many people think they’re “all right”. If you point out something you see as wrong, they may tell you don’t know what you're talking about. May, in fact, say you have a problem.

Many cancer patients don’t know they’re sick until they’re in Stage 4. That’s basically a death sentence. They may not even have visible symptoms until they’re weeks from death. Horrible to contemplate that you may die and never realize you're sick. 

Behavior is not the illness. There are people who are so sweet and kind, but in their heart may be the darkest intents. You only see the pretty package. What people do may be unpleasant, unkind, or evil, but those things are a symptom of a much deeper, much more serious sickness. 

I think the Lord checked my spirit on this issue because I spend a lot of time praying for symptoms. “Oh Lord, heal the pain!” or “Oh Lord, keep them from doing that!” 

In John 11:4 they called Jesus to pray for a very ill Lazarus and he told them, “This is not a sickness that will kill him but will glorify God.” But he died. Still, Jesus went and wept at the tomb. Not because Lazarus was dead, but because of their lack of faith. Then he prayed for Lazarus. He didn’t ask for Lazarus healing. He went straight to the source. “Lazarus, come here.” He completely ignored the illness that killed him.

In Luke 8: 48-55 Jairus called on Jesus to heal his dying daughter. We don’t even know what was wrong with her, and she died before her father finished telling Jesus the problem. When he went to the house, he again ignored the symptoms. He just told her to get up. Then he told them to feed her, the only symptom he addressed! It probably wasn't a symptom, but she may not have been able to eat for a while.

So, your loved one drinks and smokes. That is not the illness! It is a symptom of a much deeper problem. They lie and steal. Horrible! That is not the illness! When we pray for people, we need to stop focusing on their symptoms and address the problem we can’t see. What is the underlying issue? This is what a physician does daily. What diseases do the symptoms indicate? 

“I’M SICK!” Certainly you can pray for relief from the symptoms, but don’t stop there. Pray for deliverance from the spiritual illness that is killing them. Pray for the hidden diseases that may wrack the body. Pray the condition of the heart, mind, and soul! 

Why? Because when the disease disappears, the symptoms will disappear. 

Prayers You Never Heard

 I was doing my morning devotionals Sunday morning. I always take time to pray either before or after I read my Bible. I have a list of people and issues that I pray over. When I reached my family, I had a memory that came back to me.

I remembered lying in my bed at night and listening to Mama pray. She'd call off the names of her loved ones, both her daughters and their husbands. She'd call my name, too, and that of all her grandchildren. Those prayers are probably what got me through some very hard times in my life. There were so many of them! Most were for the salvation of her family.

In the middle of this memory, I had a thought. How many prayers must we pray before it is enough? God hears us the first time we pray. This is bourn out by the Bible. Michael, the archangel, told Daniel that God had heard his pray the first day he prayed it. The answer didn't arrive for a month because Michael was fighting the Prince of Persia, a devil that controlled the spiritual realm of that land.  

I thought of the hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers I heard my Mama pray for our family. She never saw the answers to most of them. My heart breaks at that thought. Here I was praying for many of the same people, for the same thing: to recognize their need for a closer walk with God, to find salvation.

In that moment,  I ask God aloud, "How many prayers does it take?" I can't tell you why it was so heartbreaking, but it was. In moments, an answer sharp and clear as if He'd been in the room filled my mind. 

"It doesn't matter how may prayers are prayed for a person. If they do not respond to the call or voice of God, the prayers are useless and wasted."

That answer set me back a bit. I didn't expect it. Surely prayers weren't useless, wasted? That didn't fit with my faith. There was more. 

When you stand before your Judge, (and God will become our Judge,) he will bring out those prayers. He's our Savior now, but death changes our relationship with Him. 

"All the prayers prayed for you will be presented, and you will hear every prayer ever prayed for you. They will be the evidence and a testimony against you."

My mind reeled a bit at that thought. I can hear Mama praying now. I lived with her for 17 years, listening to those prayers at night. She was a praying woman and I know there were times during the day she prayed. How many prayers had she prayed for each one of us? Good Lord, the number was staggering. 

And 46 years later, I'm praying for many of the same people. I have been for a long time. They've never heard any of those prayers. They probably never heard Mama's prayers either.

But they will. We all will. 

#Conversations With Him

Pray for the Peace

Pixabay.com

Most of those who know me well, know I don't watch the news. None on television if I can avoid it. I pick and choose what I read on my news feed on my phone. I tell Google I'm not interested in many things. They stop showing up.

One thing I'm seeing that is troubling is this anti Israel sentiment that is growing. Whether you believe it or not, this is a prophecy being fulfilled. The muslim world and it's friends are actually making the Bible come true! I wonder if they know this  or if they're just that stupid. The Bible is very clear that the world will turn against Israel. That there will be a war to attempt to wipe them out, not Armageddon but a war specifically to destroy Israel. And that those involved in that war will lose and lose horribly. The blood of the attackers will be as deep as a horse's bridle and it will take 6 months to bury the dead. They will lie in the desert and rot. The ancient version of countries involved in that attack are even named.

You think what you want but the drive that is happening against Israel is actually going to make it happen.

For a long time I felt very strongly that I had to pray for Israel, not Bible thumping, floor pounding prayer calling on eternal damnation to Israel's enemies. That isn't Biblical or Christian.

No, what I began to do years ago and have felt more so recently was how the Bible told me to address it. I've begun to do it more so as the hatred has increased. I posted this a couple of weeks ago and shared it. I would encourage every Christian who professes faith in the Word of God to take it to heart and begin to pray for Israel.

Peace in Your Palaces

We're to pray for peace and prosperity for Israel. Those of us who love Israel should be daily keeping this in their prayers. And while we're at it, we ought to be praying for the Savior to be revealed to her enemies more and more as the evil day approaches.

Peace In Your Palaces

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:“May they prosper who love you.Peace be within your walls,Prosperity within your palaces.”For the sake of my brethren and companions,I will now say, “Peace be within you.”Because of the house of the Lord our GodI will seek your good.

Psalms 122:6-9

Keep Digging

I've been struggling with somethings this summer, maybe for the whole year. I don't know exactly when I felt the struggle start or what trigger started it. Trigger... such a big word these days. Every time I hear it I see children with their toy cowboy cap pistols, rapid firing or fanning the hammer on them. With each click, there is a small pop and puff of smoke. I just can't get serious about such a word and I'm sure someone will be triggered by it. So be it.

My struggle is of unknown origin, start, contents, and progression. To clarify and reiterate: I have no idea what it is, when it started, how it started, what it consists of, or where I am in the progression of this situation. I just know I'm struggling with something...immovable and impassable.

My vacation in early June didn't help. It was nice but it didn't really make me feel better. My brother's death in July certainly didn't help matters, and in fact, I got worse. Having to travel to the backside of Arkansas in late July for 4 days also only added to the stress. I ended up exhausted after three months of running up and down and to and fro.

In fact, nothing I've tried has helped. It is a strange malady where I appear to be stuck in a void. I'm sorry, that's the best description I can give you. Yes, I've prayed about it. Maybe not as hard as I should have but that is part of the problem. I've actually been reading my Bible a tremendous amount this last year, thanks primarily to an app called YouVersion. It is amazing and for the first time in my life, I'll get the Bible read through in less than a year. Reading the Bible hasn't helped. I have enjoyed it immensely and find that I want to read it more often.

I've been in dark places before. I've struggled with clinical depression and had to self-treat it. I've watched my husband die while I tried to save him. It plunged me into a place as dark and as cold as the grave I put him in. I've had people I love distance themselves from me both physically and emotionally. So, I'm not unfamiliar with heartache and depression. This isn't depression. At least, not like any I've ever felt. This feels like nothing.

There is a place in the Bible, in Deut. 28:23 that says, "And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron." While that is a fair description, it isn't quite accurate either. But it is another way of describing this place.

Today we went to church and I really enjoyed the Sunday School lesson and worship service. During worship service pastor went around and shook hands with various people. We're a growing church and I'm sure he doesn't see everyone every time. He hadn't seen me but about once in three months and I'm not sure of that. So, today he stopped and shook my hand and said, "We're praying for you."

I said, "Thank you. I need it. I've been struggling with something personal and need the prayers."

He said, "Well, why don't I just pray for you right now." And he did.

Honestly, I believe in prayer and that God touches us. I wish I could say I felt immediately better but I didn't. God doesn't always act immediately and he has good reasons. We just don't know them.

Pastor moved on and I went back to the worship service. In my case, I think God did do something, and you'll laugh when I say this, but I have no idea what it was.

The service became quite spiritually moving and everyone was praying, singing, and/or worshiping in some fashion. We're Pentecostals so you know it was loud and energetic. Physically I'm not really as able to participate as I once was but as I was standing at my seat praying, I got this image in mind that confused me.

I saw myself before a huge wall. When I say huge, it was so tall I couldn't see the top and it extended right and left beyond my sight. I was on my knees before this wall, digging. There were no doors or windows that I could see and so I was trying to dig either through it or beneath it.

That's it. I didn't understand it but in my mind, I knew that whatever this was, it was a barrier between me and whatever is on the other side. I also knew I had to keep digging. So, that's what I said. I actually prayed it as I stood there. I'll keep digging. I won't stop, no matter what. I won't give up. I'll just keep digging until I find a way through it.

And that's the end of this post. I guess you'll just have to come back to see when I find the answer.

Set A Watch Over Your Children

http://www.tommynelson.com/school-day-prayers/

I really love this little chart I found on Pinterest!  I often pray with Sarah before she leaves the house for school, particularly on days when she seems to be having a bad morning. I'm sorry I didn't do that with my boys. I've learned a lot since then but I did pray for them. In hindsight, maybe not enough. I've made a point to pray with Sarah before she leaves for school.

Why pray for your children before they leave for school? School, particularly in the 21st century is a hard place for children and they need a lot of help to get through it. If you are too old to remember how hard it was for you, something is wrong.  It is also no longer a place where wholesome and ethical values are likely to be taught. Rather the reverse is more likely. In fact, it is a place that your child could die.

Certainly, today our children need a prayer covering more than any generation ever has before. The spiritual attack on them is designed to corrupt every area of their lives: mental, emotional, spiritual. They face stress, anger, low self-esteem, resentment, jealousy, hatred, malice, and even sexual attacks both physical and mental. Bullying is clearly spiritual in nature for both the bully and the person bullied. Every area of their life is under attack in a school environment, particularly if they are attempting to live as a Christian. They are a target.

It is your responsibility to protect your children from any attack on them from any source. So, if you aren't praying for your children before they walk out that door, remember you are sending them into the lion's den. You are leaving them defenseless against attacks from all areas of their life. The stress will affect performance. Sometimes, the stress kills them.

The above chart is a really good guide to what kind of things to pray about and really, you don't have to have an hour-long prayer to cover these things. Read it with your child, let them know why you're going to pray about these things for them and follow the KISS method. Keep it simple, silly. Every point can be prayed for in a few words before they go out the door. You can add any points that you think need to be added.

Also, let them know that you will be praying for them during the day. Later, when you have prayer time you can expand on it but the important thing at this point is to let your children know that you are sending them out with a prayer covering and that you will continue to pray for them while they are at school. I promise you, the benefits to your children are enormous. The faith of children is legendary and if you've raised them to believe in prayer, the comfort they get from knowing you've prayed for them is huge.

Here is the link to School Day Prayer  blog where you can print this chart off for yourself and read the blog post about it. The site has other great items you might be interested in.

Trust

Written 2/08/2004

A small, pretty frame designed to hold a quotation sits to the left of my monitor. It was a gift from a co-worker when she cleaned her desk preparatory to taking a new job over a year ago.  In it is a phrase that says, "Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed."  Psalms 37:4.  About a year ago, just for fun, I typed up this framed scripture and placed it near my computer because I spend a lot of time here. The original quote and the other I made are stored behind this one. There are three total and I change them once in a while.

This week I changed it because I needed to be reminded that there are times when trust is all you can do and there is promise attached to trust.  When you are doing everything you can think of to get by and still things seem to be falling apart around you, all you can do is trust.  And I am not a trusting person.

I am a perfectionist who is terrified when I am not in control of any situation.  But in recent years, life has cruelly taught me that I can't be in control of every situation.  It is a terrible feeling for me. Not long ago, I asked myself, and God, why it seemed that I was having to go through the same thing over and over.  It seems that for the last ten years I have re-lived several periods of time.  No matter what I do, or how hard I try, I keep repeating the same events, experiences, over and over. Constantly on the brink of financial disaster, my husband always getting sick and unemployed, my children struggling in some way.  And I keep asking God why is that. Why can't things get better?  Why do I have to have this same thing happen again and again?  Why am I constantly in need?  What have I done?

He never answered. And I began to suspect that was the whole point.  He shouldn't have to tell me what I am missing.  The fact that I AM missing something is the very reason I keep repeating history.  If I got it, I wouldn't have to keep repeating it!  At least, I hope that is the way it works.

On occasion, I am afraid because all of humanity fears uncertainty. And my life is pretty uncertain. Will Jerry go back to work? Will I get a better job? Will my son who is about to get married be able to make it financially?  Will my youngest son EVER finish school? Will he EVER go to collage?  Will he EVER get a job?

I suppose I could go out and buy an 8 Ball and try to find the answers to my questions.  You remember those. I had one in the late 60's, when they first came out.  No one really believed they could answer your questions but as a kid it was a fun game.  But in the real world, there is no magic 8 Ball, no fortune cookie I can break open for an answer.  The only answer I have sits next to my computer in a pretty frame. I have been reading it a lot the last few days.

Trust.

How in the world am I going to do that?  How does anyone do it?

Sometimes, when I am praying, I have the strongest sense that I am so close to something unbelievable.  In my mind I see, just beyond my reach, this thick cloud I can't see through. But I know that if I could just push past it, if I could just clear it away, there is something wonderful hidden back there.  If I could only reach it.  Just one glimpse and I would have the strength to push forward.  I could trust.  But the fog rolls back, thick and impenetrable.  And I am downcast because of it.

Trust!

How in the world am I going to do that?  How does anyone do it?

I don't know if I have figured it out yet, but recently I have felt that I am getting there. No, the problems are not solved. No, I do not have a new job. No, I am not a nicer person (I think I am pretty charming the way I am).  No, I don't know if I will survive this ordeal I find myself in. But someone said, "That which does not kill us, makes us strong."  I don't much like that, but it is true.  I have become tenacious. I have become stubborn. I refuse to give up. I refuse to lie down and stop trying.  I won't turn back.  I have dug my trench and it is here that I will fight.  I have claimed this land as mine.  I may be defeated in this battle. But the war is not over.  And I am still breathing.

So, what was that original framed quote?  I know you wondered.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."  Proverbs 3:56

Ah!

And the other that is stored in the back of the frame?  "Commit thy way unto the Lord: Trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass."  Psalm 37:5

I typed them up. They look really pretty in the frame.  But I wonder why I never really read them before now?

A Night In the ER with God

If you're on my Facebook page, you already know I spent last night in the ER. Sarah had a fever of 102 and since I'd spent the night before dealing with her vomiting, I felt it was time to find out what was going on. She has a UTI and her lymph glands in her lower abdomen are swollen, probably a result of the infection.

They did blood work and for Sarah, this is a horrible experience. From the time she was barely 6 weeks old until she was about 4, she had febrile seizures. She spent many long nights in ERS having IV's put in her tiny arms, hard bracing strapped to the arm or her arm strapped to her side to prevent pulling the IV out. She had vials and vials of blood drawn and redrawn. She's spent as many as 10 days in the hospital for things that normal children deal with at home. The problem back then was her low weight. She was a small baby and a tiny little toddler. Think Tinkerbell. She'd catch a bug, start vomiting, and become dehydrated and had to go to the ER. Her weight was so low, that after a day of vomiting, she was in danger and we couldn't get her weight up enough before she was sick again. Children in the first four years catch a lot of stuff. It is necessary to survive. So to the hospital we'd go and she'd end up there for a few days or a week, depending on the severity of the virus, or the vomiting.

To make a long story short, she is terrified of needles, screaming, hysterical, terrified of them. For years, they had to hold or tie her down to get blood work or put IV's in. Now, she's 9 years old and hasn't had a febrile seizure for 4-5 years and hasn't had many ER visits since that time but just talking about the possibility of needles sends her into hysterics.

Last night was no different. I tried to calm her when the nurse walked in with her gear. The nurse tried to talk to her. She wasn't hearing us. Eventually, we had to tell her if she didn't calm down, lie still, and let them put the IV in her arm, they were going to have to hold her down. I knew when they tried to put that needle in her arm, she'd be kicking, clawing, and screaming to the rafters.

Finally, we were out of time. The nurse called a name and this huge man walked in. Of course, Sarah realized what was coming. I explained to him her background and he was so very gentle when he approached her and did a really great job of being nonaggressive about it. He just held her arm and talked to her. He and the nurse got her to lie reasonably still, but she was still hysterical. They got the port in, hooked up the IV, and turned off the light to help her rest.

Rest was out of the question. Sarah was inconsolable. It hurt. She couldn't move it. She couldn't touch it. Her body was so tense you could have strummed the cords in her neck. Her eyes were red. She could barely speak for crying. She cried for Daddy, Mama, and to go home. I couldn't soothe her and was at my wits end. I've seen this so many times and it is stressful for all of us when we have to go through this with her.

I told her I was going to pray for her. I did, but she just couldn't seem to calm down. Finally, I put my head down on the edge of the bed and silently, I told God that I needed him to calm her down and give her peace. I told him I was asking for her, not me and that she needed it right now, not in a little while. I sat by her and in moments she grew quiet and the pain in the arm seemed to be, if not gone, at least not terrifying. For several minutes, she lay quiet and watched cartoons. Then she rolled over and went to sleep. I had to adjust the IV arm to prevent her lying on it. She slept soundly for a few hours until they came to do the CAT scan.

I am so thankful that God can answer prayers immediately. He doesn't do that often for me. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing a prayer answered in minutes but Sarah went from hysterical sobbing to quiet and watching cartoons, and then to sleep in just minutes. That's an on-time God.

Into His Courts With Praise

Welcome. This blog has been a while in coming because I've been resistant to doing it. I started about two years ago to create it. Had it named and set up on my dashboard but never posted to it and never even made it public. It was just a name in my growing list of blogs. I left it that way for awhile but every time I came to my dashboard there it was, taunting me. Finally, out of frustration  annoyance, or just resignation that I'd never get it going, I gave up and actually deleted it from my blogs. That took care of it.

I thought.

Last week I took two days off because for over a month I had been very sick and was getting worse. I had to take off for a couple of days to get to a doctor and find out what was happening to me. Apparently, on top of everthing else I have, I have the Epstein Barr virus. I'd never heard of it. Didn't know what it was or what it would do to me. So, I was sick and scared and so very tired. 

During my time off I simply sat in a chair and listened to some YouTube videos and read some inspirational books. And I prayed because I don't know what else to do when I'm sick, and afraid, and alone. There is no one to hold my hand or wrap their arms around me.

I wish I could report I had this huge infusion of faith and was instantly healed and all my problems solved. I can't. I wish I could tell you I felt immensely better and didn't feel frightened anymore. I can't. I wish I could tell you that I knew everything was going to be all right. I could tell you all that. But I'd be lying. None of that happened.

Something else did.

I realized that no matter how bad it is, no matter how frightened I am, no matter how sick, frustrated, or tired I always want to be thankful and to render to God the praise He deserves despite life knocking me down and trampling all over me. So, I prayed and cried and listened.

During my attempt at rest a conversation ensued, in my head anyway.

"You need to start a blog called Rendered Praise." 

Sigh.

"I can't."

"Rendered Praise. You know... you had that started and just let it go."

"Because I didn't know what to put on it. I couldn't come up with anything to write about."

"You can now."

Pause. Shake of the head. "I don't think I can. I'm not very thankful for what is happening to me."

"Didn't say thankful."

Oh.

"Well, I think I still have the blog out there on my list."

"No. You deleted it."

Oh. "Are you sure?"

I looked. Yes, deleted. Why did I do that?

"Doesn't matter. You can recreate it."

Sigh. Nods head. "Yes.... I guess so."

"Good.  Get started."

So, this week I recreated the blog and started thinking about what I'd post here. Just as I thought... I had no idea. Not a glimmer of one. Then, on Monday night around one a.m., after I went to bed exhausted from a night of trials, a glimmer of something came to me and I got up and jotted down a few notes. I knew it'd be gone in the morning and I'd need something to prompt me. In the morning, it wasn't gone and I knew I had the start of my first real post for this blog.

"I still don't know what to put on here."

"It'll come to you. Over time, maybe not every day or even every week. But over time, you'll get better at it. I mean, look at that, you've already started."

"It doesn't seem like much."

"I don't know. I like it."

"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:4. 

"See I told you, thanksgiving. Right there in black and white. And I still don't feel thankful."

"Will you get over it! Remember all those morning drives... for years now? Take my word for it, you're thankful...uh, maybe not so much for the bad stuff. But you're thankful. Besides, you're beyond the gates. You're in the courts."

Oh. Right. "So now what?"

"It's a surprise."

"Great. Just what I need."

"And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord." Psalm 27:6

I smiled. "Good one."

"I thought so."


#ConversationsWithHim

Time: A Place To Pray

© August, 1998 Cynthia Maddox

I have a special room that is all my own. The walls are lined with books and a lovely, thick, dark blue carpet covers the floor. A comfortable chair sits in a corner of this room. Next to it stands a small table with a lamp by which I can read. A window seat is piled with pillows on which I can relax and read. My computer is here so I can write. For times I feel like creating something to wear, my sewing machine is stored in a cabinet. There is a lock on the door to this room for the times I want to shut myself away.

It is a lovely room but not real. The reality is that I have no place like that in my home or anywhere else. When my children were small I had a spare bedroom all to myself where I wrote, sewed and had private time to read or pray. Now, they are teenagers needing their space. When I work there are phones and people. At home there are phones and people. Sometimes I want to run away just to be alone. 

Our hectic lives often make it difficult to keep up with all the demands, especially women today. More often than not we will have a full-time job, in addition to one or two children. If you are a Christian working mother, there are even more demands on your time. Non-Christian women may have time for a hobby or some form of entertainment, but Christian women have church services during the week. In addition to attending a ladies or prayer meetings, she must also find time to have daily prayer. And let’s not forget the cooking and cleaning. It is no wonder some women come to church looking like they just participated in a marathon, were mugged or never went to bed the night before. As for cranky, well I dare any man to try it for a week and still smile.

I’ve been many kinds of mom, stay-at-home, army, working and homeschooling. For five years I was a college mom. I was a full-time student with two children at home in 1992-1994. My husband’s job took him away from home for weeks at a time. Most of the time I was tired. No friends or family lived nearby to help with the kids or help out if my car broke down or if I became sick. And instead of offering to help with my load, my Christian “friends” criticized me for missing one service a week.

My day was long. I got up, got the kids off to school and was at school myself by 8 or 9 a.m. Upon my return the kids were usually already there. I helped with homework and cooked supper. Then I cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, got the kids bathed and helped with unfinished homework. I might have had time to relax but usually the boys were in bed by 9 o’clock so I could do my homework. I went to bed around one or two a. m. At 6:30 I began again. Saturday I cleaned the whole house and did laundry.

Donna became my best non-christian friend in college. One morning, during a break, we were discussing our harried lifestyles. As we discussed all the demands on our time she made a profound statement. She said, “We need wives.”  We often joked about how much was required of us and how our husbands came in and got their favorite chair, asked for supper, and took a nap. It wasn’t really funny but it helped us deal with the frustrations. After college we both went to work. When we compared notes we found we were still doing the day job and the housework while hubby napped.

So when did I pray during the five years it took me to finish school? There were days when I was at home alone for several hours. I did a lot of studying then. I used some of that time for prayer. “Free” time remained a rare thing.

Every morning I drove 15 miles to school alone and in the afternoon I returned home. In semesters when I had a night class once or twice a week I made up to four round trips a day. On those frequent trips, I noticed people talking on their car phones, singing with the radio or just riding. I seldom listen to the radio in the car and I don't have a car phone. So I began to talk to the Lord. I told him of my worries all the way to school. At times, I drove to school thanking God for all He had done for me. I cried on my way home because I loved Him so much. Often I would arrive home unable to remember the trip.

I repeatedly apologized to the Lord for praying in such a manner. Many times a voice would whisper:  this isn’t really praying; you look so silly talking to yourself; what will people think; and God doesn’t listen to this kind of praying. But I kept praying. I had to!  I needed to talk to Him.

It reached the point that every time I got in my car I began automatically to talk to God. I didn’t realize how far it had gone until the day one of the boys and I had to go somewhere. As soon as I got in the car I began talking quietly to myself and he said, “Mom, who are you talking to?”  I just stopped and stared at him. I was so startled I didn’t know what to say. I had instinctively begun praying the moment I started the car! That was the day I learned one of the many truths about God.

The scripture in Thessalonians which says to pray without ceasing has always puzzled me. I have pondered the idea of constant prayer often, but I didn’t see how anyone could do it. I discovered I was wrong. We can become so used to praying that it becomes instinctive, even in strange and unusual places. We can automatically break into praise and worship without thinking about it. Instinctive prayer!  What a concept.

Some may say if you aren’t kneeling, it isn’t prayer. Too bad for the man with no legs. I once heard someone suggest that you can’t have a real relationship with God without an hour a day in prayer. Perhaps they had a whole hour every day, uninterrupted, in private. I don’t. Not many people do and so they just don’t pray at all. After all, if you can’t meet the requirements, why bother. Right?  Wrong.

Others will say this type of prayer has no  meaning because there is no conscious thought. It is true that no conscious thought is involved, but it is not true that the mind is not involved.

Every natural process in the human body is done without conscious thought. You don’t have to think about breathing because your body knows how to do it. You don’t have to tell your eyes to blink to keep them moist. Even your dreams are controlled by your brain without your conscious thought. And it is possible to learn to control your dreams while you are asleep. I’ve done it.

What could be more natural than to pray to the Creator?  Words are formed in our mind and our mind tells our voice to speak. The Bible said “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.” Our heart and our mind appear to be linked. How could what I call instinctive prayer be meaningless if the mind/heart is involved in the process.

Prayer was meant to be just as natural as our breathing or our heart beat. It was intended as a means of constant communication between us and the Creator. We should find ourselves breaking into prayer for no reason, at unusual times, in unusual places. There should be prayer over our dishes, toilets, and car engines. I don’t mean roll in the floor, jump up and down, top of your lungs prayer (unless you want that, but be prepared for strange looks, especially from your children.). No, I mean conversation and thanks for all the blessings we have been given. God loves it when we just talk to Him!  If we spent more time talking to God this way, we might find some of our heavy-duty prayers get answered a lot quicker and more often.

Perhaps we should stop worrying so much about a “special place” or a “special time” to pray. If you have either, use it and be thankful. If you don’t perhaps you should be more concerned with making the time special. Take a ride in the country or to work and make your time a place to pray.