Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A Lack of Praise

I don't feel like praising anyone today. 

You don't have to praise anyone. Everything is a choice. You're supposed to but there's no one standing over you with a gun to your head.

It isn't that I don't want to. I'm having so much pain ... for three days now I've had this unending pain in my neck, shoulders, and a migraine headache. I've taken three Imitrex to no avail. Obviously, this is not your typical migraine. I feel tired, dejected, and completely abandoned.

I know that feeling.

I ...it makes everything worthless. I want to stop hurting. I can't enjoy anything when I'm in this much pain. I had such a good day on Saturday. I was a bit tired but I had such a good day. In fact, most of last week was good. I woke up Sunday to this.

So, everyday is not a bad day.

No, but the good ones make the bad ones that much worse because it won't stop. And there seem to be more and more bad ones.

You mean, you can't fix it.


Ah. So, its about you and your inability to control things. I seem to remember that you said praise was not about thankfulness. You said praise was about me and my sovereignty. 

..............Yes. I did.

So, why is this about you and your power?

Psalms 42
1 As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?[b]

3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”

4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.[c]

6 O my God,[d] my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From the Hill Mizar.

7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.

8 The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.

9 I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”

10 As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

I guess I just forgot.