I've come a very long way into those dark lands. On few occassions I thought I'd nearly found my way out only to realize that it was just an small opening in the tangled mass of the forest through which I could see light or it was will-o-the-wisps in the swamps that surrounded me.
I've been praying for direction and for some other issues that I can't deal with or face. I'm traveling in the dark. It is easy to get lost when you travel in such places. Often there are terrible monsters around every bend who creep along and follow you. You may not see them but you can hear them. Sometimes, they reach out and maul you, leaving you battered and bleeding.
Normally, I'd never talk about this but for a few weeks now I'm been getting mysterious messages, all containing similar directives. They all talk about this place I'm in and finding my way out. I've been praying for understanding too, because it's all just so confusing.
Just two nights ago I listened to a sermon by T.D. Jakes about dark places and how sometimes you have to go into dark places to become who you are meant to be. It was a very revealing hour for me. So much of it made sense but don't think I had this great revelation of direction or that a star appeared in the sky pointing in the direction I am supposed to go. It did not. But at least there seemed to be a reason for being where I am... and one I could accept.
This morning I read my devotional and I can't tell you what it was about. I prayed and I always pray on the way to work, nearly every morning. Usually it is just a prayer of thankfulness.
As I traveled today I blurted out, "I feel as if I've wandered into this great dark cave and I've lost my way and can't find my way out. Once in awhile I think I can hear you calling me but it is so far away that I can't locate which direction it is coming from."
I am sure there was more I said but that one statment is all you need to remember. It is important.
The day was probably one of the most hectic and totally unproductive I've ever had on my job. Most of it was doing someone else's job and leaving mine undone. At some point I realized I no longer cared. That was actually a surprising relief.
Sometime before lunch, I sat down at my desk to read my email. I get a daily scripture via email and I always look forward to it. There are a lot of times when it is the only bright spot in the dark places. It glows briefly like a small flame of fire, not enough to really get warm by but enough to see how to travel a few more steps. So, I opened my email today and as I read the scripture something shifted in the darkness.
"Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD." Jeremiah 23:24.