Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Locked Gates

<a href="http://juliodecarvalho.openphoto.net/gallery/">Julio de Carvalho</a> for <a href="http://openphoto.net/gallery/image/view/22287">openphoto.net</a>
Courtesy OpenPhoto.net
This day started off pretty good. It was a bit overcast, a bit of rain that gave way to sunshine and a lovely spring breeze filled with songbirds. I opened all the windows I could and the house is just the right temperature. Pain is a low hum that I can block out. Can I have this all the time?

Probably not.

But it is pert near perfect!

There are things beyond your street that say otherwise.

I keep the gate locked.

Very funny.

You do know that I have anxiety issues and thinking about certain things and contemplating certain things sends me over a very steep precipice. I become this quivering mass.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. -- Phillipians 4:6-7

And that is why I stay here, on my dead-end street and consider the things I need to do this month to make my small plot lovely. I try very hard to keep the world out. Of course, you've rained on my parade for weeks now. I keep hoping for sunshine.

Your flowers will thank me. It will get hot and you won't like it. 

I suppose that is true. 

But things aren't "pert near perfect."

I try to believe the world isn't a mess, that people have not lost their minds, that sun is shining somewhere, the sky is blue, and God is in his...your heaven. 

Do you believe that?

Which part?

Any of it.

I believe God is in heaven. 

Someone once said,"The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."

Yeah, I saw that guy, too! Scruffy, beard down to here, hadn't had a bath in ... well ... a while from where I was standing. That was on the sandwich sign he was wearing."

You know, certain kinds of humor are an attempt to cover up what you're really thinking.

I heard that. I told them they were imagining things. I figure if I keep thinking things are good, they might fall into line.

How has that worked?

I'm not very good at it, actually. It is why the gate is locked, there is no newspaper, no television news, and why I simply won't read certain things on the internet. Not exactly positive thinking but I try and remove all the negative I can from my environment. I know some people would say I've got my head in the sand. 

" For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:" --Proverbs 23:7

So, I think things are fine, so they are! Well, that works out well. One question.

Of course.

When does that kick in? Cause despite my best efforts, some of that stuff creeps in.

I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly how it works. Maybe this is closer to what you want: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."  --Philippians 4:8-9

Yeah, that's it! I don't know if I always manage to do it well, but I try and keep the other stuff beyond the gate. Life is chaos and cluttered. I suspect that is why clutter agitates me so much. Still, that peace thing, that's tough.

You do know there are all kinds of locked gates. You probably should not lock some gates. You end up keeping some good things out. “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”--John 16:33

Saturday, April 4, 2015


Courtsey Pixabay.com

I'm frustrated. I had a pretty pain free month after the antibiotic. Now my hands are giving me a lot of trouble. I think I'm going to have to go back on the methotrexate. I'm not happy with this.

Don't you think happiness is a bit overrated at times?


Why are you looking at me like that?

Like what? Incredulous?

Yes, something like that. Did I say something crazy?

Well ... no ... I mean, well sort of, yeah. I'm not sure how to respond.

Why? Do you think happiness isn't overrated?

Really, this is nuts. Aren't you the creator of happiness? Shouldn't you know this?

Humor me.

I always thought the modern conception of love was overrated. Is that the same thing?


Well, you're no help.

Why do you think love is overrated?

Because people have equated it with physical processes rather than intellectual and spiritual processes. If sex is good, they must be in love, therefore, we must have sex before we can be sure we're in love. But what happens if sex fails and life happens to deliver hardships?  Then we divorce because we must not be in love. They cycle begins anew and endless.

Since you are a person who seems to think she is seldom happy, I thought you'd have the answer to the question. I think happiness falls under the same kind of assumption. 


Laughter in brackets? Isn't that sort of like a sigh? 

Kinda but I'm not sure where you got the idea that I have the answer to anything. But maybe happiness does fall under the same assumption. Life gets hard, we struggle, we fight, we fail, ergo, we are not happy.

Despite all the successes?

Because of all the successes.


We have this sense of entitlement. We're good and we have a right to be happy. All the time. Life should not throw us curves or wrenches. The machinery should always run smoothly. Because we are successful at one thing, we should be successful at everything. Failure is not an option.

And yet you fail.

There ya go. We fail. A lot. Unhappiness ensues.

So, happiness IS overrated. It is a goal rather than a destination and it can't be attained. 

Uh ... I think some folks are happy.

Really? Why? 

And isn't a goal a destination?

No, it isn't. Why are some folks happy and others not?

I haven't found their secret, but I have my people working on it.

Save that for the novels. You still haven't given me a clear answer. Is happiness overrated?


Well, I've stumped you. That's nice to know. A destination is the culmination of a journey. A goal is a point you attain on that journey. There may be several goals but only one destination. Goals are not meant to be stopping points.

So, happiness is the destination?

I do wish you could write broad smiles in brackets. 

Happiness is the end result of a journey.

It should be.

Should be? I think I got lost on that trip.

Are head shakes possible in print?

I don't think we can cover this topic in one post.

I agree. You're a bit slow. However, are you nearer an answer?

I think so. Has something to do with expectations. If I focus on the stops, I won't reach my destination. If I focus on my destination, the stops won't matter.

{sigh} Something like that. 

I still don't know if it's overrated ... but maybe not?

{sigh} Maybe not.

My hands still hurt. I'm still not happy.

Get back on the train.