Things have been so bad for the last six months. Hip pain, SI joint pain, and bursitis all in the same leg. Cramps in my calves and feet. Worst flare I've ever experienced.
God is still good.
I've had some personal things going on. Up and down. Happiness in brief spurts and sadness. Death of hope. Medication changes that messed with my head and emotions.
God is still good.
Worry about Mike. No more thinking life gets better.
God is still good.
Life not so much.
I survive.
God is still good.
1 Praise ye the Lord:
for it is good to sing praises unto our God;
for it is pleasant;
and praise is comely.
2 The Lord doth build up Jerusalem:
he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel.
3 He healeth the broken in heart,
and bindeth up their wounds.
4 He telleth the number of the stars;
he calleth them all by their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and of great power:
his understanding is infinite.
6 The Lord lifteth up the meek:
he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
7 Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving;
sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
8 who covereth the heaven with clouds,
who prepareth rain for the earth,
who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
9 He giveth to the beast his food,
and to the young ravens which cry.
10 He delighteth not in the strength of the horse:
he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
11 The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him,
in those that hope in his mercy.
12 Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem;
praise thy God, O Zion.
13 For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates;
he hath blessed thy children within thee.
14 He maketh peace in thy borders,
and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
15 He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth:
his word runneth very swiftly.
16 He giveth snow like wool:
he scattereth the hoar frost like ashes.
17 He casteth forth his ice like morsels:
who can stand before his cold?
18 He sendeth out his word, and melteth them:
he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow.
19 He showeth his word unto Jacob,
his statutes and his judgments unto Israel.
20 He hath not dealt so with any nation:
and as for his judgments, they have not known them.
Praise ye the Lord.
You met her, didn't you?
It was an unpleasant experience. She just took over. Totally wrecked me. I'm tired, but I don't think I'll sleep.
Lie down. Close your eyes and think on these things.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phillipians 4:8
I am not there. I'm not there.
I know. But you still have to think on these things.
You'll have to draw me a map today. I don't know where any of that is. Planet Earth. That's where I am. I don't know if you'll find any of that here.
I didn't say you had to find them. They are already done. You just have to think about them.
I ... would it be wrong to say I don't want to look anymore?
It would be pretty stupid. You're not generally stupid.
I'm in so much pain right now that I am not capable of seeing anything beyond my nose. It's dark where I am. You know I am so messed up. Right? You know this.
I am all the light you need.
I'm just going to be honest here. I am in a dark place. No light visible. I know. Sounds disrespectful. That screaming woman? The one I said was behind me? Not anymore. She's in me. She is me. I'm her.
........
Nothing?
When you're ready. Go get some sleep.
You know Shakespeare?
I taught him everything he knew.
Right. I had to look it up to remember it all. "Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care". From Macbeth. The sleave was a skein of yarn. I've dealt with those, and it isn't that easy either. But OK, I'll go.
