Under Construction!

 A makeover is coming, so bear with me. I got a new image that I just love and want to use. You can see it already inserted above, but obviously, there are bugs to work out. I'll get there. 

There are always bugs to work out. In every life, changes happen. Mine is no different. I have to adjust things, take measurements, move things around, and move things out. I think change has to happen; we have not choice. If you never sweep the floor, dust will bury you, and eventually, the place will rot. 

I've been moving things around a long time. When my life unraveled last year, I attempted to move things. I assumed life would get better. Something. I don't know what. I was looking for what I had lost. I didn't find it. In fact, I just opened up old wounds and made new ones. I hurt in my body, mentally, and spiritually. I cried a lot. Some nights I didn't sleep. 

This week I realized that all the effort I was applying to making things work was likely wasted. That hurt in a special way I won't describe. 

Why Worry?

 I've been trying to get through a Bible study on YouVersion called "Why Worry?". While I was doing today's lesson, I realized something that startled me.

I am not worried. Anyone who knows me will think I'm lying or delusional. And yet, it's true. The study described worry, and I didn't have that. 

Things I don't worry about. 

• So, I have paid my bills and will pay them. 
• I'm in pain. Some days it is mild, other days it is unbearable and I cry a lot. I don't worry. I hurt.
• Mike's situation is beyond my control. I'm concerned for him, but I can't fix it, and I know it. He will get surgery and may get better or not. Worry isn't an issue. It is what it is. I'm going to be unhappy or I'll be happy. But for now it doesn't exist.
• I can take care of myself despite pain and multiple medical issues. And I care for the needs of several other people. None of that worries me. I always seem to have the ability to do that, so I just do what I have to do. 
• Today is my only obstacle. I'm not worried about getting through today. Either I will or I won't, and neither matters. It's do or die. 

What I have is anger and frustration, and I'm not happy. I don't worry about those things because they actually exist. They're real. I'd be worried if I thought it would help. It won't. 

So here is the list of things I could be worried about, but actually don't care enough about them to be worried.

• I'm not happy or content.
• I'm disorganized and frustrated by it. I've never been disorganized.
• I miss my life as it was before death cheated me. 
• I miss my granddaughter. She's too busy for me now. One day she will not be but I'm not worried by it. I'm sorry for her and disappointed in her.
• I miss my family. The road runs both ways, and they've made choices. I spent years driving a whole day to see people. I am not worried about it. I am disappointed, but I'll get over it. I have to get through today's obstacles and don't have enough time left to worry about other people's shortcomings. 
• I have wants but no needs. I was promised only that my needs would be met. They are. I am not worried about the wants. I could be disappointed, but whatever.  

So:  Rage -yes. Fury - yes. Disappointment - yes. Grief - yes. Pain - yes. 

Worry? Not so much. 

Life is an immense disappointment. We're led to believe it gets better, but it doesn't. It's painful and a thief. Most of the time you will not get what you expect or want. 

There will always be disappointment and grief. That's not worry. They won't kill you; worry will. Recognize the difference between worry and the rest of it. It's about letting things go. If you're nagging it, it's worry. If you're experiencing sadness or disappointment, probably not worry but certainly not fun. Cry and move on.

Death will visit you multiple times to remind you he's coming for you. Don't be afraid of him. He has nothing else to do, and real life begins after he's done with you. He has to repeat his job every moment of every day until one day he dies, too. That's a wasted existence. Don't follow his lead.

You don't have any choices in your life other than picking which road to follow. Your life is already mapped out, and the road you choose will determine the end. You can't change any road you choose. You just have to keep walking. Things will happen. Try to prevent bad things, but refuse to be surprised when you can't. 

There is no tomorrow because it doesn't exist yet. You will create it if you wake up in the morning. Then it will be just another today to get through. Do something different and hope for a different outcome. That's probably another definition of insanity. Enjoy it. It may be the only time you can feel in control. 

You're not in control. Ever.

God is in control. He is sovereign. You can't control him either.

Worry: To feel uneasy or concerned about something; to be troubled. Synonym: brood.

Another Rabbit Hole! After Babel - 70 Nations

 Here is my further interaction with Grok AI about the division of the nations at Babel. Fascinating stuff! Again, if you haven't read Heiser's book, you'll be somewhat in the dark. 

ME: The nations that these gods were given rule over. Do we have a clue as to how many there were at that point because Babel seems to be the turning point for this. And nations as we know them did not exist.

Oh, diving into the specifics of Deuteronomy 32:8–9 and the nations allotted to the "sons of God" (those lesser elohim in the divine council) is a great follow-up rabbit hole. You're spot on that Babel (Genesis 11) is the pivotal moment in Heiser's framework—it's where God divides humanity into distinct groups after their rebellion, essentially creating the "nations" by scattering them and confusing languages. Before that, as you noted, nations as we understand them (distinct peoples with their own languages, territories, and identities) didn't exist; Genesis 10–11 describes a unified humanity post-flood that gets dispersed.

Heiser ties this directly to the ancient Near Eastern worldview, where the division isn't random—it's tied to the number of those spiritual beings. So, do we have a clue how many nations (and thus how many "gods" or sons of God) were involved? Yes, and it's a specific, recurring number in biblical scholarship: 70. Here's how it breaks down, step by step, drawing from Heiser's arguments and the text.

The Clue to the Number: The Table of Nations (Genesis 10)

• Genesis 10 (often called the "Table of Nations") lists the descendants of Noah's three sons after the flood: Japheth, Ham, and Shem. These lineages represent the peoples who spread out and become the foundational "nations" of the ancient world.

• The total count? Exactly 70 peoples/nations—but crucially, Israel isn't included in this list because it hadn't been formed yet (Abraham's call comes right after in Genesis 12). This pre-Babel catalog sets the stage for the division at Babel.

• Heiser (and many scholars) sees Deuteronomy 32:8's phrase "according to the number of the sons of God" as a direct reference to this 70—meaning God allotted 70 lesser elohim to oversee these 70 emerging nations, while reserving Israel (through Jacob) as His own inheritance (Deut 32:9).

• Why 70? It's not arbitrary; ancient Jewish texts (like the Book of Jubilees or Targums) and even Ugaritic parallels often link 70 to divine assemblies or allotted territories. Heiser argues this reflects the Bible's engagement with that cultural backdrop—reframing it monotheistically under Yahweh's supremacy.

For a quick visual breakdown of the 70 from Genesis 10:

Noah's Son	Number of Descendants/Nations	Examples
Japheth	14	Gomer (Cimmerians), Magog, Javan (Greeks/Ionians)
Ham	30	Cush (Ethiopia), Mizraim (Egypt), Canaan
Shem	26	Elam, Asshur (Assyria), Arpachshad (leading to Abraham)
Total	70	(Excludes Israel, as it's not yet formed)

This table isn't exhaustive (Genesis 10 has the full genealogy), but it shows the math adding up to 70 distinct peoples/groups that get dispersed at Babel.

Babel as the Turning Point

• Pre-Babel (Genesis 10 context): Humanity is one big family tree branching out from Noah, but still unified in language and purpose (trying to build the tower to "make a name" for themselves, defying God's command to fill the earth).

• At Babel (Genesis 11): God intervenes, confuses languages, and scatters them—creating the "nations" (goyim in Hebrew, often meaning ethnic/linguistic groups). Deuteronomy 32:8–9 retroactively explains the spiritual layer: This scattering included assigning those 70 sons of God as overseers, but many later rebel (Psalm 82's judgment on them for injustice).

• Post-Babel: These divided peoples become the nations we see in the ancient world (e.g., Egyptians, Canaanites, Assyrians). Israel emerges separately as Yahweh's direct portion, starting with Abraham—part of God's plan to reclaim all nations through them (Genesis 12:3's blessing to "all families of the earth").

• Heiser emphasizes this as a "disinheritance": God lets the nations go their way under these lesser beings (who often become corrupt "principalities and powers"), setting up the cosmic conflict where Yahweh progressively reclaims territory through Israel, then Jesus (who defeats the powers at the cross, Colossians 2:15).

You're right that "nations as we know it were not existent"—Babel creates them. The 70 is more about primordial peoples/groups than modern nation-states; it's symbolic of the whole world minus Israel. Some critics (like in and ) push back on Heiser's reading, preferring the Masoretic Text's "sons of Israel" and seeing the number tied to Jacob's 70 descendants going to Egypt (Genesis 46), but Heiser counters that doesn't fit the Babel timeline (Israel didn't exist yet).

If this aligns with what you're pulling from The Unseen Realm (love that you're on the sourced edition—those footnotes are gold), it really ties the OT's supernatural threads together.