Showing posts with label faithfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faithfulness. Show all posts

Friday, September 29, 2023

Just Ask


 I'd like to sit right up there.

Where?

There, on that ledge up there, where the trees are shady and the flowers are blowing in the breeze. 

Ah. Yes, that's a nice ledge. 

I don't see a way up.

Hmm. No. You don't. 

.....

What?

It isn't very far... well it doesn't look far. Certainly not as far as that last bit. So where is the trail?

Oh. You can't get there from here.

You're kidding. Right?

No. But there is a bench right over there under that overhang you can rest on.

I see it. It's kind of hard and the top isn't smooth.

No. That's true. I suppose I should have someone fix that. 

.....

Is something wrong?

Yes! 

How can I help you?

{Harump} I'll just sit here on this patch of scrub and take a break. Please, join me.

Thank you. I will. 

At least the sky is beautiful.

As long as you look up, you'll be fine. 

Doesn't feel that way. That ledge up there... it's so pretty. Have you been there?

Of course. There is the loveliest pond there. You can stretch out on the grass and watch the fish jump. Might see a deer or two. Oh and those flowers ... they smell like heaven.

.....

I'm sorry. 

I'll just stay here for awhile. Maybe I'll figure it out. 

You might. 

......

Of course, you could just ask me to take you there.

.....

Don't look surprised. That's all you ever have to do. Just ask.

Oh, oh please. Now?

Sure. Let's just rest a bit. Stop worrying about it. I've got everything under control. 

Really?

Yes.


#Conversations With Him


Sunday, August 20, 2023

Can We Disagree With God?


I think this is actually a wonderful question! As a Christian we often feel like we can't ask challenging questions about faith, The Bible, or sin. I don't know why we feel that way, but it could be because there is this unwritten "Biblical" rule passed around that you can't question God or disagree with his actions. Please cite the Biblical references for this. I will cite mine. 

Exodus 32:9-14 Moses - bargained to prevent the destruction of the entire Hebrew nation in the desert because they worshiped a golden calf.

Genesis 18:16-33 Abraham questioned and bargained with God over Sodom & Gomorrah

2 King 20:1-11 Hezekiah reminded God of his own integrity and ask for 15 extra years of life. He got them. 

Everyone of these men disagreed with God's decision and addressed it directly to God. And God agreed with them. Abraham not only disagreed with God's decision to kill everyone in Sodom, he questioned him about it AND he bargained with God to save the whole city, sinners and all. Yes, the deal fell through, but God didn't punish or destroy Abraham. It was neither Abraham's fault nor God's fault that it failed. God was under no obligation to bargain with Abraham. That is an interesting point all by itself.

In fact, had God found one righteous person, he would not have destroyed the city. Well, in the story, they bargained for 10. Even so, he didn't find them, and he didn't punish Abraham for questioning his decision. Probably because, in his questioning, he maintained his belief that God was just and faithful. 

So, can we disagree with God? 

Yes. We don't have to like how things turn out. We don't have to agree that the bad things that happen are fair or just or right. We can disagree about anything God does. And we can bargain with God over issues. But there are things you have to understand and accept.

By disagreeing with God:

1. You assume that what happened is God's doing or fault. That he is responsible for the problem.  

2. You assume God made a mistake based on immediate outcomes, not long-term results. Your emotions affect your views and you can't see the end results of any situation. You're reacting without reason.

3. You assume, based on your own emotional response, rather than facts, that God is not fair or just and that you are right. 

4. You ignore free will and personal rights and accountability and place the blame for the problem on God, who gave us the right to choose the path we follow, the actions we take, and to endure the consequences of our decisions. 

Will God acknowledge your questions? 

I think he does. But: 

1. Your integrity and faithfulness will determine your right to disagree and bargain with God. If you aren't following Him, you have no rights to do either. Your children are the only children that can question you on your decisions. The neighbor kids have no rights in your house. A disobedient child who has left your home has no right to say how you operate your house. 

2. Your logic as to the reason for your disagreement is important. Just because you don't agree with God's laws, doesn't give you a right to disobey them nor to question their validity. To defend your position, you must cite resources based on God's laws because that is the parameters he operates in. He respects evidence and integrity. Remember, Abraham's integrity gained him a hearing with God and they reached a bargain. More importantly, Abraham accepted the outcome without question. All he needed was ten people. Ten Godly, righteous people. Surely he could find that.

3. If you question God, you are admitting you believe in him, that you know he is the supreme being, and that he has the power to do as he wills. The very act of questioning is acknowledging the power to act, whether or not you agree with the acts. Why ask if you don't even believe in God? 

Well, unbelievers question ... but that means they don't actually disbelieve. I don't believe in the tooth fairy. I'd never question her about her job or why she does it. I don't care. She doesn't exist. 

4. You agree to abide by His decisions and answers, whether or not you agree with them. Abraham knew if he didn't find those righteous people, the city would burn. He accepted the bargain. BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT GOD IS JUST AND FAITHFUL.

Ask God any question you want. Disagree with any of his decisions. By doing so, you acknowledge his sovereignty. That's a plus with God. Then, get your emotions in check. 

The Bible says in Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool."

Reason is crucial to any argument or challenge. Reason is calm and willing to consider all aspects. You can be angry. Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,-" Anger is not a sin. Lay out your arguments, keeping the Word as your guide. 

Yes, you can disagree with God. I know, from His Word, he likes a good debate. Just remember that God is faithful and just. You can't see the end results from this moment. Only God knows that. Accept the outcome, whatever it is, and maintain your integrity. 

 Job 27:2-6 2 As God liveth, who hath taken away my judgment; and the Almighty, who hath vexed my soul;

3 All the while my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils;

4 My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit.

5 God forbid that I should justify you: till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.

6 My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live.

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Life is So Horribly Painful

 Life is so very painful. No, really, it is horribly painful. Oh, if you’re happy and enjoying things, you don’t notice it. But stop for a minute and think about it. 

From the moment you’re born, you feel the pain that life is going to be. For 9 months, you’re cradled in a warm soft environment that provides for every need. No worries, probably very little actual pain because of Mother's system protecting you. Certainly no grief. 

Then you’re forced through a narrow canal. The bones in your head are constructed so they compress and overlap to allow you to slip through more easily. Yet, you enter the world screaming from that pain and the shock of cold air and the tugging of rubber coated hands and glaring bright lights. Your mother is probably making a similar noise, because giving birth is horribly painful...unless they drug Mama up. 

The first few years you’re coddled but constantly having to beg for food and warmth, and a dry bottom, and shots, and to be held and cuddled. If you get sick, you can’t tell anyone and cry to get the message out, but it takes so much effort you get exhausted. You hurt.

Once you’re on your feet, you stumble and bump every protrusion on your body. You get sick and no one can understand you, so you cry. When you get hurt, you cry. You hurt physically and in your tiny heart. You weep from it. 

Finally, you can make yourself understood! But now they don’t understand you! They won’t let you do things. Sometimes you do them and get hurt and they yell at you, even though you’re sobbing and in pain. You hurt all over, even your brain, because you can’t understand why it has to be so painful. And your heart because they wound you with words.

Teenagers. Ugh. Whoever invented the teen years was just cruel, right? Broken bones, broken hearts, broken egos, broken dreams, broken minds. Everything breaks. And no one understands you! You’re in pain, terrible pain. And no one gets it. They yell more and it hurts more. And you hate everyone and it hurts so terribly you want to die. And sometimes you do.

Adulthood. If you survived this long, it is bound to get better, right? No. Life is horribly painful. 

Now, you’ll deal with broken people. You have miserable jobs or lost jobs. There are bills, lots of bills. There are medical issues. You have wrecked hearts, wrecked dreams, wrecked egos, wrecked minds. Then your car gets wrecked. You get hurt and you weep, but no one understands. You hurt.

Life continues to deal out things that break you. Marriages break. Your children break. Spouses die, children die. Grief slays you for years. Life becomes a horrible nightmare where you’re watching every precious thing put in a hole in the ground. You are not hurting. You’re in agony. 

Life hurts. It hurts so horribly that it is a miracle when we survive it. If we survive it with a smile, it is the greatest miracle of all. 

But we don’t notice all of that. We live in the miraculous. We see the beauty of the screaming baby and forget the raging pain it took to bring it into the world. Mother cradles that tiny bundle and speaks to it. The crying stops, the eyes open, and it stills to listen to the most beautiful sound it will ever hear in its life. Pain is gone, forgotten with that sound. 

With every broken moment, there is a miracle following that erases the memory of pain. We forget the pain, though some pain may linger for many years. It is the miraculous moments that keep us from cracking up. The miraculous mends our hearts, mends our minds, and mends our souls. 

There are times pain is so bad we will always remember it. Death doesn’t just hurt, it leaves an indelible mark. You don’t get over death. But for most of life’s pain, we will never remember what we experienced when it happened. We remember the essence of it, our reactions to it. We can describe how we felt, but we don’t feel it. For grief, this happens in time. It is probably the most devastating pain in existence because you don't get over losing half of yourself.

However, you never forget the miraculous. We never forget the moment we held that baby and heard it cry. In 70 years, it will still bring tears to our eyes, a smile to our face, and joy to our hearts. A miraculous event will temper every painful event we experience in our life. 

We never forget the day we met the person we fell in love with, married, and lost. Never. Yet, when our child marries, we forget the awful teen years and pray for a long and happy life. The kind of life that in that moment, we have lived. Because we forget the horrible pain of life. For a moment.

I have survived on the miraculous because to do otherwise would destroy me. The prophet Jeremiah said, It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore, will I hope in him. Lamentations 3:22-24.

Life starts over every morning. New pains and we may carry the pain of yesterday with us but the miraculous of today is waiting to help us forget the pain of yesterday. It isn’t always evident until it’s over, but when you see it, hang on tightly. It is there. 

Because He is faithful. 

Saturday, August 25, 2018

How Good is Our God

Did you ever ask yourself that? Did you ever wonder for a second? Or maybe ... maybe you've looked around and said, "How good is our God!" I know I do that every day. Sometimes, when I'm in my car I talk to God and just ride along telling him how very awesome I think he is and how grateful I am for his goodness.

“The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” Psalm 145:9

I've been working on reading my Bible every morning. It is a habit I've had trouble with for years. If you're a woman and have an outside job, children, and other responsibilities it seems that there is just not enough time in a day to get everything done. Whenever I have moments I'm not working on something else I try and read. Having an app on my phone and my Kindle has made a huge difference. I still love my "real" Bible but the app can be read or listened to anywhere or anytime and I've noticed a huge increase in my reading time. But back to how good is our God.

“For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” Psalm 100:5

His love endures forever? In a world for love comes cheap, that is an astounding claim, isn't it? Furthermore, he is faithful to ALL generations? Love and faithfulness are rare commodities in the 21st century and to find it anywhere is a treasure of immense value. He is always there, always listening, always loving. To know this is such a great comfort, particularly when I don't feel like anyone is there, listening, or loving me. When I feel my most unlovable and most lonely, he's still with me.

  The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah. Psalms 46:7

How many nights have you spent in an ER with someone you loved?  Did you watch their pain and wish you could help in some way? I remember taking Sarah to the ER when she was about seven or eight and she was so sick. They had to put in an IV. As a result of countless hospitalization resulting from febrile seizures as an infant and toddler until she was 6, she has absolute terror or needles. This night, they had to threaten to strap her down to get an IV in. They brought in a huge male nurse and he sat down and talked with her so calmly. He was able to put in the IV without any problems but she was so sick and in pain and the IV was traumatic. I sat there in the dark when they left us to wait and prayed for God to touch her and help her sleep and ease her pain. I was astounded when within 5 minutes afterward, she was sleeping soundly. He does listen and is a refuge in times of stress, fear, and trouble.

Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:12

Sometimes I just want someone to listen to me. I used to vent to my husband and he was so patient and generally just let me rant with little comment. I never realized how much I needed that in my life until it was gone. To be able to release the frustrations and stresses without judgment and criticism was a relief. There were days I'd come home from work after having dealt with a boss that enjoyed making things difficult and making us work harder rather than smarter and who refused to accept responsibility when something went wrong. I had to deal with people who called me names while telling my boss I discriminated because they were black. I'd be so angry at being unable to defend myself against false accusations and having no one to stand up for me. 

When Jerry died, there was no one to absorb the deluge. Maybe you think it was cruel but I did the same for him when he was working. Once he was gone, it took me a while to realize that God is sitting in the passenger seat listening. He's across the dinner table, listening. He's sitting on the sofa next to me, listening. I can dump all the stresses, frustrations, anger, and annoyances at his feet. He can take it. And when it is over, he wraps me in his arms and calms my spirit. I have fewer such stresses these days because I no longer deal with that situation. However, life is still stressful and frustrating, and annoying. God is still here.

“For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” Psalm 100:5

So, just how good is our God? There is no end to his goodness. No end to his faithfulness. No end to his love. 
For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; his truth endureth to all generations. Psalms 100:5



Monday, October 17, 2016

A Star to Steer By

It's been interesting, you know?

I try to make it so. What, exactly, have you found interesting?

I'm different.

Really?

At least, today I am. I have been for a bit.

How so?

I'm not sure. Something is different.

In a good way, I hope.

.... I think so.... Yes.

Well, I'm glad to hear it. 

The medicine has given me a chance to breathe.

And we certainly want you breathing.

That's funny.

I try.

Seriously....

I was. But we're digressing. What is different.

I'm in the right place. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel I'm in the right spot. Or at least on the right road.

Oh, well, that's good. You must have been reading the map.

{sigh} I always read the maps.

Sure you do.

Anyway, at some point in the last several months, something shifted and I knew the decisions I'd made were the right ones. That, whatever else happened, I had turned onto the right road and was headed .... north?

It's a direction.

Yes, well, as a southerner one might say the wrong direction. But the north star is used to navigate. If one is lost, find the north star and get your bearings.

You've found your bearings?

...................... I think so. But I'm still afraid.

No surprise there. It is one of your most endearing qualities.

..........................

I mean it in the nicest way. When you are afraid, you always call me. 

I'm sorry. I try very hard not to be afraid.

You don't trust yourself very much and sometimes you don't trust me either. I'll tell you a secret.

Yes?

You've actually started trusting me more. 

Are you being funny again? Because...

No, I'm serious. You're still a little terrified. But overall, I'm very pleased with your progress.

Me, too.


Sunday, July 31, 2016

My Struggle to Escape The Web

On July 30th I deactivated my Facebook account for an unspecified time. I'd like to think I can last for 30 days. I'll be happy to last a week. What drove this decision? Let's just say I received several signs, although, maybe it was more like a billboard.

On a trip to Arkansas to pick up my granddaughter and to see my son I ran across a library book sale and picked up a half a dozen books for $1.00. Several were Christian books. One of these I'd been looking for but it is out of print. Interesting, huh? A second I'd never heard of but it struck a cord.

As soon as I started reading the first book several things began to happen. First, I was hit with problems I didn't understand. The devil knows where the chinks in my armor are located and he managed to get his spear into them. It was two days before it dawned on me and although I was upset, at least I understood. Sometimes, knowing makes painful things bearable, sort of like an analgesic.

I finished the first book very quickly, but the second one I'm still working on. I'm totally blown away by the content because it is filled with things I've wanted to know, prayers I've actually prayed.

The second event the billboard. God wanted my attention. While in Arkansas a woman I have never seen before, whose name I do not know, and who I probably will never see again walked up to me and made a statement of two sentences. Then she walked away. I won't share what she said but there is no way she could have known what she knew. I've prayed about it and gnawed on it but I can't find any sense to it. She knew something about me she shouldn't and couldn't possibly have known. In fact, there is not a single soul in the world who knows what she knew but me and God. She didn't know the people I was visiting and we did not converse outside of her statement to me. It disconcerted me.

Why now? Well, for the first time in a long time, I was without the ability to get on social media for a week. What do you know, I hear a Voice. One I should have heard all along. If I'd been paying attention to something besides memes, politics, or the endless stream of meaningless status updates.

The cumulative impact of these events propelled me. I wanted to go home. As soon as I got home I knew I had to make changes. I decided I needed to cut out as many distractions as possible. I want to finish the book I'm reading and I want to explore the ideas in greater depth. I want to increase my time reading and studying my Bible. I want to pray more. I want to listen even more. I'm setting some goals in regard to these and my writing. I have to factor in dirty dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, my illness, my pain, and naps.

I'm three days in. I wish I could say the last few days without Facebook have been a breeze. They haven't. Things present themselves with the tag, "You could put this on Facebook if you hadn't deactivated your account." It is annoying, so much so that I am using it as a tool to keep me off. That statement alone tells me how much Facebook has wrapped itself around my life, into my spirit and mind.

A friend once told me he smoked and I was surprised. I told him that I never thought he'd be controlled by anything. He wrote me later and told me he was trying to quit smoking because of that statement. I've reached that same place. I refuse to allow my mind and spirit to be trapped and distract me from what is really important.

Yes, I miss hearing from family. I miss contact with my "friends". I miss sharing special things with them. And yet, have I really been doing that? Do I actually hear from anyone? Does anyone really "contact" me? Who exactly am I sharing with? I don't want to admit that I don't really know. I no longer even know my family. Do I know people on facebook? No, I can count maybe 20 people that I've physically met, that I am unrelated to and some of my relatives, I've never met.

The truth is none of us have ever shared anything real on Facebook. We post photos, memes, other people's opinions, other people's values, and other people's ideals. We've offered condolences, prayers, and encouragement. But how sad that we've never felt a real pat on the back, a real hug, a real smile and thumbs up. We've said it is because of distances. But how many of us are sitting in a room with someone right now and we're all staring at a computer or phone screen? We are fakes. The more apropos name for Facebook would be Fakebook. Even the name is false. It is neither a book nor a real face.

As a writer, I'm told that I'm required to have a following on social media, the bigger, the better. Do the "followers" even realize they're nothing more than a number? They have no value outside the internet. Oh, they're told they do... by form emails and sales pitches. But the truth is, it is the numbers that matter. We are just a number in "You have X numbers of friends". Shut off the computer and you're nobody.

I'm not saying you can't develop relationships online. There are dozens of folks I've had internet conversations with, some for more than a decade, that I have come to call friend. I've made an effort to learn more about who they are, what is going on in their lives, their troubles, trials, and triumphs. We've talked on phone calls. I appreciate their sharing themselves. Many I'll never meet face to face but I value them. But there are far more I don't have a clue about.

What I'm saying is that any object or hobby that demands so much attention without offering anything to improve me as a person, that takes away from improving my life or the life of those around me, and that prevents me from living a real life doesn't deserve my attention. Any app/program that insist I drop real interactions to follow the latest drama of someone I don't know or even someone I do know is not profitable and a waste of time.

I've been facing a shortage of time for a while now. Autoimmune diseases rob you of everything. I got more done when I had a full-time job than I do now. I accomplished so much when my husband was driving a truck and I was a full-time student with two adolescents. He was home twice a month for three days. I had to do it all but it got done. I remember getting up at 6 a.m., putting the boys on the bus at 7:30, getting to class by 8 a.m, home by 3 p.m. cooking supper, helping with homework while I cleaned house and got the boys in bed by 9 p.m. I started on my homework then and my bedtime was 1 a.m. 5 days a week. We had time to play games and read stories. Saturday was laundry day and Sunday was God's. Know what was different back then? I didn't have any social media. I graduated with honors and went to work and still did all that work. And the world never knew.

I suppose it boils down to priorities. I'm resetting mine today. When I hear or see things that are blatantly the voice or presence of God despite my lackadaisical attitude, I need to pay attention. I should have been paying attention. Time is in OUR control. How we use it is up to us. Everyone has 24 four hours a day - 168 hours a week. The average job is 40 hours a week. That leaves 128 (equivalent to 3 more full-time jobs) for God, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and family time. And in my case, college. If something isn't getting done, we need to reset our priorities. What is going on that required 168 hours a week?

For anyone calling themselves Christian these things can be counterproductive spiritually. I need to ask questions: What did I neglect today in favor of social media? Did I read my Bible today or Facebook? Did I pray today or check Facebook? Did I spend time with my family without social media or my phone? How much time did I actually spend on Facebook compared to the real world demands of living and time I spent with or for God?

How dedicated are you, really? I can't answer for you, but I know I can do better.

They call it The Web for a reason. It is a snare, a trap for the unwary. Being wrapped up in a web is one step away from death. The spider eventually spears the victim and sucks the life out of them. I'm cutting myself loose. I refuse to be ensnared by social media or anything else. I refuse to have my life become a tangled cocoon that can't carry on a conversation with the people in the room with me. It is both insulting and disrespectful and the cocoon looks stupid. I want to experience life, with living breathing people.

More than anything else, I want to keep having these conversations with God. Pardon me while I cut the web away.




Tuesday, September 29, 2015

A Night In the ER with God

If you're on my Facebook page, you already know I spent last night in the ER. Sarah had a fever of 102 and since I'd spent the night before dealing with her vomiting, I felt it was time to find out what was going on. She has a UTI and her lymph glands in her lower abdomen are swollen, probably a result of the infection.

They did blood work and for Sarah, this is a horrible experience. From the time she was barely 6 weeks old until she was about 4, she had febrile seizures. She spent many long nights in ERS having IV's put in her tiny arms, hard bracing strapped to the arm or her arm strapped to her side to prevent pulling the IV out. She had vials and vials of blood drawn and redrawn. She's spent as many as 10 days in the hospital for things that normal children deal with at home. The problem back then was her low weight. She was a small baby and a tiny little toddler. Think Tinkerbell. She'd catch a bug, start vomiting, and become dehydrated and had to go to the ER. Her weight was so low, that after a day of vomiting, she was in danger and we couldn't get her weight up enough before she was sick again. Children in the first four years catch a lot of stuff. It is necessary to survive. So to the hospital we'd go and she'd end up there for a few days or a week, depending on the severity of the virus, or the vomiting.

To make a long story short, she is terrified of needles, screaming, hysterical, terrified of them. For years, they had to hold or tie her down to get blood work or put IV's in. Now, she's 9 years old and hasn't had a febrile seizure for 4-5 years and hasn't had many ER visits since that time but just talking about the possibility of needles sends her into hysterics.

Last night was no different. I tried to calm her when the nurse walked in with her gear. The nurse tried to talk to her. She wasn't hearing us. Eventually, we had to tell her if she didn't calm down, lie still, and let them put the IV in her arm, they were going to have to hold her down. I knew when they tried to put that needle in her arm, she'd be kicking, clawing, and screaming to the rafters.

Finally, we were out of time. The nurse called a name and this huge man walked in. Of course, Sarah realized what was coming. I explained to him her background and he was so very gentle when he approached her and did a really great job of being nonaggressive about it. He just held her arm and talked to her. He and the nurse got her to lie reasonably still, but she was still hysterical. They got the port in, hooked up the IV, and turned off the light to help her rest.

Rest was out of the question. Sarah was inconsolable. It hurt. She couldn't move it. She couldn't touch it. Her body was so tense you could have strummed the cords in her neck. Her eyes were red. She could barely speak for crying. She cried for Daddy, Mama, and to go home. I couldn't soothe her and was at my wits end. I've seen this so many times and it is stressful for all of us when we have to go through this with her.

I told her I was going to pray for her. I did, but she just couldn't seem to calm down. Finally, I put my head down on the edge of the bed and silently, I told God that I needed him to calm her down and give her peace. I told him I was asking for her, not me and that she needed it right now, not in a little while. I sat by her and in moments she grew quiet and the pain in the arm seemed to be, if not gone, at least not terrifying. For several minutes, she lay quiet and watched cartoons. Then she rolled over and went to sleep. I had to adjust the IV arm to prevent her lying on it. She slept soundly for a few hours until they came to do the CAT scan.

I am so thankful that God can answer prayers immediately. He doesn't do that often for me. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing a prayer answered in minutes but Sarah went from hysterical sobbing to quiet and watching cartoons, and then to sleep in just minutes. That's an on-time God.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Faithfulness



Originally posted on 05/1/11 on Sudden Inspirations. I needed the message again today.

As I stood in the morning worship service on May 1, I was suddenly struck with a desire to thank God for His faithfulness. Not to thank him for the many blessings he's bestowed on me, nor for all that he has done for me over the course of my life – the healings, the comfort, the financial blessings, the urgent prayer requests he's answered. No, I simply felt it necessary to thank him for his faithfulness.

It was a new notion for me. Of course, God is faithful. I know that! The Bible is filled with statement after statement of this. But knowing that God is faithful is something I take for granted. I don't think I've ever thanked him for that.

You see, life is hard. It is filled with broken things – dreams, hopes, desires. Broken hearts, broken lives, broken relationships, broken toys. We get wounded. Life hurts. Things don't go our way. Life is unfair. People suffer and die. Life is cruel. It is a challenge at times to even get out of bed because facing life is like walking into the flames. We are consumed by the shear effort. Our minds scream at the searing pain of living each day. Life is unbelievably hard.

I wish I could tell you it gets easier. It doesn't. It gets harder. When you realize that your time is running out you begin to think about what you should have done that you didn't do. It could have made such a difference! And you stare into the mirror with a realization that you can't change it. Life is excruciatingly painful.

I've spent a long time attempting to reconcile this in my mind. Why? Why does it hurt so very much to live. There are all kinds of philosophical explanations and I will be frank in telling you. I don't care. Pick your view and put it in your pocket. It will not change a thing. Life will still be hard. And some times it will be so hard you won't think you can make it another day. And there are some who won't.

I am one of those people who keep clinging to meaning. I look for it in every single thing. I can't settle for a pat answer. It all means something. I get mad with God at times and we have some heated discussions. When Jerry died I dare say my questions got harder and my anger fiercer. I could find no answers for the cruelty of life, for the pain and misery that seemed to come with every day. I began to break beneath the onslaught. My mind at times simply couldn't keep up with all the terrible things pouring into it. The walls we erect to keep horror at bay crumbled and there were times I feared to go to sleep. I did not want to live another day in this pain but I didn't want to die either. And when I saw how easy dying was, I was shocked to my soul. Living is so very hard. Dying is simple.

For the last two years I have repeatedly read a particular passage of scripture and hung onto it as if it were a lift preserver. Perhaps it was. I even have a bookmark in the section so I can find it immediately. I don't suppose anyone else would see any comfort in it. Some would call it depressing. The author was a man who had a right to be depressed. He was threatened with death several times by his own people, thrown into a dungeon, rescued only to be taken hostage, and eventually killed in a foreign land. It doesn't get much worse than that. But he tells a story that is eerily familiar.

Lamentations 3:1-41
I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light.
Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day.
My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones.
He hath builded against me, and compassed me with gall and travail.
He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old.
He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy.
Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer.
He hath inclosed my ways with hewn stone, he hath made my paths crooked.
He was unto me as a bear lying in wait, and as a lion in secret places.
He hath turned aside my ways, and pulled me in pieces: he hath made me desolate.
He hath bent his bow, and set me as a mark for the arrow.
He hath caused the arrows of his quiver to enter into my reins.
I was a derision to all my people; and their song all the day.
He hath filled me with bitterness, he hath made me drunken with wormwood.
He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.
And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity.
And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:
Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.........................
..................For the Lord will not cast off for ever:
But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies.
For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth,
To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High,
To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not.
Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?
Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?
Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?
Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.

When I fail, He never fails. When I turn away, He never walks away. When I throw up my hands in defeat, He never gives up. When I am consumed by life and can't remember where I am, He never forgets me. When I have reached the end of the road and simply want to lie down and rest, He never grows tired.

(Deu 7:9) Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;

(Psa 36:5) Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds.
(Psa 89:1) I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.

(Psa 89:2) For I have said, Mercy shall be built up for ever: thy faithfulness shalt thou establish in the very heavens.

(Psa 119:90) Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abideth.
(Isa 25:1) O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

(Lam 3:23) They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

I am so thankful that God is faithful.


Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Reason for Blessing


I remembered something that a very old woman once taught me. Her name was Kate Fletcher. She walked everywhere she went, despite the ill fitting prosthetic leg, sometime even turning down rides because of the difficulty getting out of vehicles. When I knew her she was in her 80s.

Sister Fletcher was a member of my church and seemed to appear in my life when I needed a counselor. I was 18, newly married with no mother. She was a woman of great faith and wisdom, and more than once I sought her counsel. She never failed. More than once I showed up at her home after midnight and she was actually at the door looking out. On one occasion she said, "The Lord told me someone was coming but not who." Another time she said, "I was waiting for you."

I remembered a time when I was searching for something and I went to her home. She prayed for me and she told me, "God will give no one more blessing than they can handle." It was an unusual concept for me.  

God's blessings are unreserved in depth and scope. We have only to be faithful to our calling. But they are not endless and they are not without limit.

Parents reward their children based on how they behave. Yes, you do. Good behavior reaps good rewards. Bad behavior, if you are a good parent, reaps negative rewards. You wouldn't give a child an ice cream cone for slapping a parent or screaming at your guest. Well, maybe some people would, but they end up with odious children.

As your child grows, the rewards become more advanced. Good grades may get better and better rewards. Allowances increase based on performance but poor performance, poor grades reduce the rewards. You bless them according to how they preform. You may do other things for them for no reason other than because you love them, but there are blessing you give only because of what they do.

You may bless your teenager with an inexpensive car to do their running on but repeated traffic violation result in the loss of that blessing. They simply can't handle the responsibility of obeying traffic laws. You take the car and they take the bus. I've been here. The rule was your car, you 're fine. And they paid them. That is not a blessing. That is a penalty for not being responsible.

You may help your adult children with the down payment on a new home, if you have been blessed with the money to do that. They neglect to make the payments and they lose that home. They could not take on the responsibility of maintaining a home.

God blesses only according to what we can maintain. The concept she introduced me to that day has gotten me through some terrible times. The more I am responsible and the longer I am faithful, the greater the blessings become. There are times I'm overwhelmed at what I have received for no apparent reason. I am not blessed because I'm smarter or better than anyone else. I am blessed because God has trusted me with some things that even I didn't think I could handle. I don't always think I deserve things He has given me, but it isn't what I think that matters. It is what He thinks. And the knowledge that He thought I could handle something is a blessing and an overwhelming concept. Some days I'm literally stunned by it.

I know people who are constantly down on their luck. They can't get a break. Everything they do fails. All efforts to "get ahead" set them further and further behind. Nothing they attempt prospers. If you talked to them, they just don't understand.

In every case I've seen of people I know personally, I see the same thing over and over. Their walk with God had faltered in some fashion or ended. Their attitude, their behavior has become negative and sometimes, they are obviously not living as they know they should. They have gone farther and farther away from what they believed and become almost hostile. The blessings that once seemed to flow in, now flow out. But all they see is the falling tide, and the absence of things. They don't see the cause.

Like a child, they see everything that happens as unfair or someone else's fault. When a marriage gets in trouble, they need a new partner. Things would be better if I had a better spouse. When finances fail, it is the other spouse's spending that caused it. Or it is the other person's fault they lost the job. When children are unmanageable, it is the schools, friends, or other relatives' fault. Like all children, we refuse to look in the mirror and see that we are the reason that we are blessed or not blessed. Instead, we clench our fist, stomp our feet and scream, "IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I am a good person. I love God. I...... I..... I....."

My life is miserable. You heard me. I have pain so much that there are times I just want to die. Really. I don't say that much because the devil has a way of using our words to beat us up. In my mind, I know I don't want to die, but I want the pain to stop. Some days I can hardly walk. My legs won't work, my feet hurt, my back is in agony. I have family that I can see are not being blessed and I am struggling with watching them fall farther and farther away and deeper and deeper into trouble. They don't even see what is happening. They can't see the chasm that is looming at their feet. I spend days praying for something to wake them up. I lost my husband and best friend and I have no one to talk to and no one to turn to when I'm in pain and suffering heartaches. I spend hours in my home and no one calls or comes by. 

So, how could I see any good in all that? What can make up for the losses? Ah. I see things that no one else sees that I know are blessings I can't possibly have deserved. They wouldn't mean a thing to others, but they are enormous reminders that I am not forgotten by God. Yes, sometimes it seems like it but I know I'm not. I'm not a bestselling author, but Im blessed with enough talent to bless others with my writing. My husband died, and nothing can replace that, but because of his service and his faithfulness I have benefits. He took care of his family, was faithful to us and God and provided for us even when he was dying. He told me once that he believed his disability was a blessing from God and he never asked God to heal him. That disability resulted in his death. What he suffered resulted in my blessing and in my ability to bless others. I'm blessed with a job that allows me to meet my needs and provides me with health insurance. I'm not wealthy, far from it. Yet, I'm blessed enough to bless my church and my children. The lack of local friends resulted in a circle of online friends who I talk to several times a week. They make me laugh, encourage me, share their lives with me, and some of them pray for me. Those who don't pray, I know they wish me well. All the places in my life that hurt have had a blessing added to it.

I don't know why but God trusted with these things, the good and the bad. My life is usually chaos and I'm stressed and wounded and heartbroken. But in the middle of chaos there is the eye of the storm that I strive to live in. Sometimes the storm overtakes me. I'm overwhelmed by it but I have to keep moving in the right direction to find the eye again. I can't stop the storm. I can only stay in the eye.

Sister Fletcher was right. God won't bless anyone with anything greater than they can handle. It isn't good for us. What does that mean? Some blessings become our destruction. How many people have you seen on the news with millions of dollars and they commit suicide? They had everything but were not happy with the blessings. Why? Yes, I know mental illness explains everything. Its convenient. But it isn't always true. Sometime they get lost in the storm. How many divorced couples have you seen who were even more miserable afterward? How many people have you seen who left a good job for a better one only to find they hated it? How many people have you heard complain about all their troubles and you're wondering what's wrong with them because they have everything anyone could need? You know you have!

Like all children, we choose our blessings, and we choose our curses. You won't see it that way. That's unfortunate. If once you could see the flow of blessings as something significant, it would change your entire outlook on events in your life. If you can just connect the dots, you can see the complete picture. It isn't the blessing that is important. It is the reason for the blessing that is so important. 

I'm blessed, not because I think I deserve it, because He thought so. 

How much can God trust you? 

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Tales In The Dark

Courtesy Pixabay.com
"What I tell you in the darkness, speak ye in the light" (Matt. 10:27).

The title for this post and the scripture came several weeks ago, on Dec 17, 2010. I put the title in the box and wrote the scripture and then. . . nothing. I had nothing else to say. A tiny bell had rung and it felt important. So, since I thought it was stupid to post like that, I saved it in my drafts. I've looked at it several times in confusion wondering what I had wanted to say. I didn't know. Still, I had the sense it meant something. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it so I just closed it up again.

January 1, I was reading my Bible and that bell went off again. I thought fleetingly "That's odd." I learned long ago that nothing is really coincidental. Things happen for a reason. You don't have to agree. But small things are like pebbles dropped in a lake. They start ripples that move outward, forever if the source is large enough. In theory, if you drop one in the middle of the Atlantic there will be ripples that become waves that have great impact somewhere.

That second bell went of when I read the following scripture. "So the people stood afar off, but Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was" Ex. 20:21 The word "was" was not in the original Hebrew text. It is put there for clarity. It is italicized in the KJV to show this. So, Moses drew near the thick darkness where God.

I did nothing at first when I found it. But it kept coming to my mind and eventually I got out of bed that evening and marked it in yellow in my study Bible. Again, I had that sense that this was important... at least to me. So, I set up a marker and left the verse in the Bible.

Today, I became restless. That verse and the post I had started but not finished continued to gnaw at me. I decided to search for the phrase "darkness" in the Bible. I read each entry that fit my search criteria. Darkness is a broad term and not all verses I found appeared to relate. They didn't give me that same clanging sound in my head. But I did start to notice the connection to the word "God" in some of the results. Mentally, I refined my search farther.

Of course, as Christians we don't connect God to darkness. He's all about light. Bringing light to the world and lighting our paths. He's the bright and morning star. His light has expanded to encompass the globe in nations once shrouded in thick darkness. Everything we learn about God is stated in terms of brilliance. The Bible clearly states these terms in regard to God's character. It even says that God is not found in darkness.

As I searched I started pasting all the scriptures to my document. I realized I was in trouble because I usually over research things anyway and the Bible is a big book and the word "darkness" is repeated . . . well. . . a lot.

Bells and Voices

I further refined my search and formulated a filter to assist. What was I looking for based on the two verses already "given" to me? I sort of knew the answer. God can be found in darkness. Well, that flies in the face of all Christianity! It was just a little voice that slipped past the sound of the bell.

However, after reading all the scriptures I felt were closely related to my first two and which seemed to catch in my filter, I noted two things. In the Old Testament God was frequently mentioned as "inhabiting darkness". In the New Testament, he was frequently mentioned "inhabiting light" and literally banishing darkness. It confused me at first but after thinking about it a bit, it made sense. Jesus is considered to be the light of the world. We believe He illuminated the darkness where God dwelt. That resonated with me but that was not the direction I was headed. I noted it for another study.

I listed all the scriptures I felt related in some way to my first two and my filter. There are dozens but I wouldn't use them all. I was looking for the reason those first two verses kept ringing in my head. What do they mean?

As I did my search, I noticed in many places where God revealed important information to a person, He did it in thick darkness. Sometimes, this terrified the human. Sometimes, they simply took the news and made the necessary changes. Most of the time I suspect they were scared witless. That's why so much dictation took place. When you are afraid and in the dark, you don't think too well on your own.

"And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great  darkness fell upon him." Gen. 15:12

"And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days:" Ex. 10:22

"The Lord said that he would dwell in the thick darkness." 1 Kings 8:12 

"Clouds and darkness are round about him: righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne." Ps 97:2

In each instance God was cloaked in darkness but he was there, acting in some capacity. Giving Abram a dream or dealing with the stubborn Egyptians. That was interesting to me. I've been living in very dark places. I was still in those dark places. It was frightening and I don't think to well but. . .at least I was hearing bells.

Fire And Smoke

Next I discovered the story of the Exodus where God put a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night between the Hebrews and the Egyptians. This was to protect the Hebrews and not allow their recapture. What I didn't know was that there was a dual perception to this cloud/pillar.

To me the pillar of fire could easily be seen as a cloud in the daylight because . . . well, it produced huge quantities of smoke. I've seen enormous fires that appeared to be nothing but thick billowing smoke. You couldn't even see the fire! Until it got dark. The Bible says that the Egyptians only perceived the darkness. They never saw the pillar of fire! Read the verse with an emphasis on the terms "them" and "these" and you will see what I mean.

"And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a cloud and darkness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night." Ex. 14:20

This cloud was darkness to the Egyptians but it was light to the Hebrews. The Egyptians didn't see the light! They saw only a great towering darkness before them and they weren't about to cross that line. Remember in the Old Testament God cloaked himself in thick darkness.

"And ye came near and stood under the mountain; and the mountain burned with fire unto the midst of heaven, with darkness, clouds, and thick darkness." Ex 4:11

"These words the Lord spake unto all your assembly in the mount out of the midst of the fire, of the cloud, and of the thick darkness, with a great voice: and he added no more. And he wrote them in two tables of stone, and delivered them unto me." Deut. 5:22

Everyone outside the cloud saw thick darkness. Moses walked along the road and stepped into that  darkness.

Down A Dark Road

Many of the scriptures I found referred to the impact of this darkness on others. Frequently, darkness is laid across someone's path. This darkness was so thick, so terrible that the wicked couldn't even speak when confronted with it.

"He will keep the feet of his saints, and the wicked shall be silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail." 1 Sam 2:9

It always surrounded the Almighty. "And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies." 2 Sam. 22:12 & Ps. 18:11 

"He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet." 2 Sam. 22:10 & Ps. 18:9


Trouble in the Dark


Job said God set the darkness in his path. He couldn't avoid it; it was across the path he had to take. Moses went into the darkness. Why? Why would God set darkness in the path of anyone, particularly people He held in high regard? Would God put darkness in our paths? Yes.

"He hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths." Job 19:8

"He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old." Lam. 3:2 & 6

"When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness." Job 30:26

WHY? The question screamed at me. Why would he do that? And if it was there, why would anyone enter that darkness as Moses had? Why would they have to go through the darkness at all? There is no light there. It is a darkness you can feel, that burns its way into your soul and consumes you. You don't know what is there waiting. Why would I go into that darkness? Because there are secrets in the dark.

"He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him." Dan 2:22

"And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel." Isa 45:3

"He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death." Job 12:22

There is more to this story, but not today. There are a dozen more scriptures, but they'll still be there later. Today, that is what I needed to know. I heard it in the dark.

"Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee." Isa 60:1-2

"And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them." Isa. 42:16

"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me." Micah 7:8


Revised 2/8/15

Friday, February 29, 2008

A Walk Through the Orchard


Al and Joe were neighbors and were in the habit of walking each day after work along the road next to the orchard. They each had their own path but sometimes their paths crossed. They would speak politely but walk on. It just so happened that one day they met along the road and fell into step. From that day on it seemed they were always walking together and so it became a routine they both enjoyed. Aside from their daily walk, they seldom saw each other.

Early one Saturday morning they got to discussing how lovely the orchard looked with it’s ruby red apples among the green leaves. Joe stepped into the field to the nearest tree and looked up. “What a wonderful apple. It is the prettiest red I have ever seen. I bet it is so sweet and juicy.”

Al moved to get a look. “Well, I don’t know. It looks all right but you can never tell. I think the apples that come though my plant are the best looking in the world.”

“You work in an apple plant?” Joe looked quizzically at Al. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it’s a fruit and juice plant but I am an apple inspector. It is my job to inspect every apple that comes through the plant to insure that only the best apples are allowed into our packages or juice.”

“Apple inspector?   Wow. You mean that if it doesn’t pass your inspection, it won’t be in the juice?”

Al pulled his shoulders back, hitched his belt and sniffed. “Yep. That’s the way it works. It is my job to make sure the bad apples are identified. Bad apples are dumped.”

“So, what do you look for?”

For a minute Al pondered. “Well, we look for bruising, cuts, scars, color, and bugs.”

“Hmmm. Well, all these apples look fine to me.”

Al shook his head. “You can’t tell just by glancing at the tree. No, you gotta examine it real close to find any flaws. I mean, you can’t find scars and bruising just by looking at the tree from here, now can you?”

Joe hesitated and looked the tree over. “Well, no, but why would bruising, scars and cuts be on he fruit that is still on the tree?  I mean, I would think that would only happen in storms or if the fruit gets knocked off someway and lands on the ground. But even then, it might still be good to eat. If you don’t mess with the fruit it won’t get bruised up. Fruit on the tree just needs to be picked and eaten.”

“Only perfect apples get in my juice.”

“Well, why would color matter?  I mean a good apple can be any color.”

“Color could indicate ripeness. We want apples that are just the right stage of ripeness. I mean the juice could be bitter if the apple is not ripe enough and the taste might be a little off if an apple is too ripe. No, I have to be real careful about color, too.”

Joe studied the tree. “I still say these apples look great. I didn’t eat this morning and I am kind of hungry. My mouth is watering just looking at them.” Joe reached up to the apple nearest him. “Just look how plump it is and how shiny.”

Al shook his head, “I’m telling you, Joe, unless they are inspected by a trained eye you shouldn’t mess with them. There might be something wrong with this tree.”

Joe hesitated but pulled the apple off and sniffed it. “It smells good, too.”  He bit into it eagerly. He closed his eyes, “Mmmmmmm, Al, that is the best apple I ever ate. I am so hungry. Try one, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Not me. If I want apples I get ‘em at the supermarket . . . after they have been inspected. Besides, I don’t really care for them much. I see so much bad fruit it kinda turns you off them after awhile.”

Al and Joe resumed their walk. Joe munched on his apple in silence for a long time. Finally, he said, “Al, you ever think about another line of work?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, why do we need fruit inspectors?”

“So, unsuspecting folks don’t get sick from eating bad fruit?”
  
“Don’t you think a person could inspect their own fruit and determine if it is bad or not?”

Al didn’t respond directly but said, “Well, the owner might not be honest enough to admit he had bad fruit. Fruit inspectors are necessary to keep folks honest. We insure the safety of the innocent. Anyway, I’ve been doing this for 20 years. What else would I do?”

Joe munched his apple for a moment then a light seemed to go off in his face. He looked at Al and said, “Maybe you could GROW apples.”

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance . . . .” Galatians 5:22-23.

We have all read or heard that verse dozens of times but one Sunday morning as the Bible class teacher read, something went off in my mind that I can only describe as a small nuclear explosion. I was awestruck as a new understanding broke over me. As I hurried to write down the thoughts before they slipped away, I remembered something else. Several weeks earlier, on the preceding page of my notebook, I had made a few notes regarding another scripture.

“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”  Matt. 7:20.

Weeks before those scribblings had led nowhere but that Sunday morning the pieces of the puzzle fell together perfectly and the picture that emerged was breathtaking. On Sunday night, while getting ready for bed, came the story A Walk Through the Orchard.

 There is one basic question that we all ask when faced with the realization of eternity. “What must I do to be saved?” Most of us believe that we know the answer. But then, I took a walk through the Orchard.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve walked thorough the orchard and passed beautiful, sweet-smelling, fruit-filled trees. The fragrance of the ripe fruit permeated the air around her. But Eve didn’t’ stop and savor those fruits. Instead, she journeyed to the center of the Garden and looked on the one tree she had been forbidden. As she gazed at that fruit, a craving pulled at her soul and consumed her. Her mind registered the visual image of a tantalizing fruit. The image she saw answered three questions that her craving had provoked. She saw that the fruit was good for nourishment, it looked good, and it would make her a better person.

But Eve was not hungry. She had no reason to be. Nourishment was never truly a factor in her craving. There were thousands of trees in the garden from which to choose. She could have walked up to any other tree and picked the fruit of her choice. Any other fruit in the garden would have fulfilled her every need and she could have eaten as much as she wanted. In fact, all the other fruit in the garden would provide nourishment, it would look good, and it would make her a better person. She lied to herself. But, instead of walking away, she looked at the forbidden fruit, the bad fruit. She picked it, she ate it, and she died. We have all been inspecting fruit ever since and, like Eve, it is not because we are hungry.

In Mark 11:12 and Matt 21:17 is the story of a fig tree that Jesus approached in search of figs. When he saw the leaves but no figs he cursed the tree and the next day it was withered and dead. Interestingly, Mark is careful to note that it was not time for figs yet. So, Jesus cursed a tree that didn’t have fruit when He needed it. Jesus was hungry. Jesus was searching for good fruit. He needed something to eat right then, but the tree was bare. Because the tree did not provide for the need, he cursed it. And the tree died.

In A Walk Through the Orchard, Al and Joe marched along different paths for a time but eventually they fell into step. All along their way were trees filled with fruit. Al knew all about fruit. But Joe was hungry. Joe began to search for nourishment. And it is to the heavily laden trees along his path that he turned. He searched and satisfied his hunger with good fruit. But Al, who knew so much about fruit and had fruit all around him every day, had none to share and had no desire for good fruit. In fact, Al was afraid to eat any of the fruit that hung within his reach because he had not inspected it. Al viewed his lot in life as a protector of the innocent. It was his job to root out the rotten fruit. He lied to himself. In reality, he wasn’t protecting anyone.

There are Christians who feel a need, who believe it is their job, to inspect the fruit of others. In reality, they are searching for that which is missing in their own lives. They have no fruit to fulfill the needs of those seeking nourishment nor are they seeking nourishment for themselves. They don’t desire fruit anymore. All their time is spent on inspecting, searching for the bad fruit, not producing. They are barren and only by pulling the fruit off others, do they feel useful.

The problem is, when you start handling fruit, you damage it. You leave bruises, scars, and wounds from all the rough handling. Sometimes, the fruit will be so ready to eat that it can be easily knocked off the tree or bruised. Fruit that is knocked on the ground may never be eaten because it is so badly damaged from the fall. As a result, someone will go hungry because the fruit that was there to nourish has been destroyed.

Christians are NOT called to be fruit inspectors. Jesus never suggested that. At the time Jesus stated Matt 7:20, the disciples were not born again; they were not yet Christians. Jesus was talking to sinners and warning them of false prophets. He was telling sinners that if they were hungry there would be signs telling them where to get nourishment. Later, when he cursed the fig tree, he gave a profound example on the fate of those who fail to feed the hungry. The hungry are supposed to be the fruit inspectors. As Christians, we are expected to have the fruit available to feed the hungry. If we don’t, we will die.

I grew up hearing about winning souls but I never heard advice on exactly how one is to do that in a world where no one wants to listen. And suddenly, in one awe-inspiring moment and with brilliant clarity, I knew. It is the fruit that feeds the hungry. Fruit saves a dying world from starvation. Fruit sustains the weak. Fruit provides nutrients for growth. Fruit answers a craving for sweetness in a bitter world. We can preach a thousands sermons, recite the entire Bible on a street corner, but if there is no fruit hanging out there in the branches, the hungry will look elsewhere to be fed. And so, as I sat through that Sunday morning service, I had an overwhelming desire for fruit. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.

I found myself ashamed. I realized that far too often I spend time inspecting the other trees in the orchard for bad fruit and not worrying about whether or not I am producing good fruit. How many have come by needy, looking for nourishment and gone away hungry because they found nothing. God help me!  I want fruit, so much fruit that the boughs break under the weight of it, so much that the fragrance fills the air around me. And I want to be hungry!   I want to see a starving world fed with the fruit that satisfies all hunger. Winning the lost is not done with pretty speeches but rather by feeding starving souls. I don’t want to be a fruit inspector. I want to be a producer of fruit. God give me fruit so that anyone who takes a walk through the orchard can be fed!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22


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