Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts

Friday, December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas & Blessed New Year!

Merry Christmas to all those who have followed this blog! Thank you for sticking around and putting up with my rambling posts. I hope my words encouraged you, enlightened you, made you smile, or comforted you. 

I don't post often because posts to this blog are different. I never know what I'll write about because I try to let my heart speak or let the Spirit speak through my heart. Sometimes the words were for me alone. Others, they were for someone else. I hope they found their home. 

Does anyone feel that we're watching the last grains of sand slip through the narrow opening of the glass? Time is running out so quickly. This year is almost over and I don't know anyone who would say it's been a good year. I pray the Lord blesses the coming year for us all, but I believe we're living in a time of rising evil. My view is that this is the devil's final onslaught before the end. We're being bombarded with every form of wickedness he can throw at us. The minds and actions of people are twisted and depraved beyond my wildest imaginings. 

When I pray these days, I find I'm praying for protection over those I pray for and for a purging of wicked people. That sounds awful, doesn't it? However, I believe God has offered us all an opportunity to choose who we will serve. If they will not heed His voice, then they are part of the problem we face. We are in the fight of our lives and the battle is with unseen forces. 

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12.

Do not let the old year pass before you take a stand for righteousness. I believe we will be forced to pick sides in this thing. If you have not already, you will. Choose wisely. This may be the last major decision of your life. 

May the blessings of God fill your hearts and homes, may His protection surround you, may His hand guide you, and may his peace comfort you.



Friday, August 9, 2019

Peace In Your Palaces



Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:“May they prosper who love you.Peace be within your walls,Prosperity within your palaces.”For the sake of my brethren and companions,I will now say, “Peace be within you.”Because of the house of the Lord our GodI will seek your good.

Psalms 122:6-9

Sunday, December 31, 2017

The Last Day - Reviewed

I first wrote this on December 31, 2008, about three weeks before my husband died. In hindsight, it was almost prophetic. The world has become more like this that it was in 2008. I wish the darkness had passed by now and we were in a new day. We are not. Instead, we're still sitting there waiting for the darkness to pass. I fear many of us will not live to see that new day.


The Last Day

We finally reach it - our last day. Mankind had reached a nadir while above the sun is shining. On the horizon is darkness and one can only wonder what lies ahead for us all. Will we go on? Was there a better place waiting? Or would the crouching darkness devour our very souls? What will we do?

The last year has been one of radical change, chaos, and confusion. We'd weathered it but there were many wounded and many battle-scarred. Some had died on the field. Even the earth had been assaulted. The villages and towns that still stood were reeling under fiscal problems, energy crises, and joblessness. In many places, children cried for food while famine raged in the land. Wars among factions had only increased, their participants splintering skirmishes around the globe.

Terror had become a raging monster fed by a demonic mindset. Children had lain bleeding or dismembered in the streets, a sacrifice to a violent god filled with hatred and minds so twisted by their fables that they believe a lie and are damned themselves.

I scanned the horizon, looking for some sign, some rising star, some glimmer of hope. I saw none. We had obliterated hope along with faith. No one prayed anymore for peace and safety because there was no longer a God to pray to. Or if there was, He must remain hidden in case someone actually grasped His garments in desperation and began to believe in Him. Goodness was servant to selfishness. Mercy lay dying on the altar of intolerance, bigotry, and self-righteousness. No longer was there freedom to speak without fear. No longer could one assert a righteous indignation without fear of reprisal or accusations of religiousness. Death lurked around every corner waiting for a willing participant to utilize his tools.

I sat down on the rotting stump of an ancient oak. It had stood many centuries, growing tall, strong, and full. Its branches had sheltered many from storms, given shade to the weary travelers, and lifted up a multitude of downcast eyes. But long ago they'd begun to hew it down. It had taken a couple of generations to succeed but finally, they had chopped it down and burned the carcass. Only the stump remained, a slowly rotting reminder of a time when people actually believed in something good. When ideals, dreams, and hopes were allowed to flourish without dissension.

The sun was lower in the west now, near the time when the darkness would be complete. From the East, it had begun to crawl along the ground, reaching long probing fingers toward us. We stood and watched, making no effort to greet it and none to stop it. I knew that it would overtake us but some part of me continued to search along that dividing line between light and dark, as a thirsty animal searches for a watering hole. Still, I saw nothing but approaching darkness. The light behind me dimmed further as the power of that darkness began to overwhelm it.

Then, it came. One moment a fleeting glow suddenly shut out by overwhelming blackness the consistency of tar. My heart pounded so hard I knew others must hear but I couldn't see beyond my outstretched fingertips. I felt tears course down my cheeks and my stomach twisted in knots as I stood in a night deeper than any well I'd ever seen. I had no measure of how long it lasted because without the sun time didn't exist.

Just as the last flame of hope in my heart began to gutter like a candle in the wind, I raised my head and hands and strained my eyes to the void. Suddenly, from the farthest reaches of the heavens came a tiny flicker, so faint it would have been undetectable to the casual observer. But I was searching for that flicker and as I watched through blinding tears, it grew and expanded and blazed forth with gathering strength, until it broke through the darkness and glowed brightly -a single star in a vast expanse of nothingness. All around me I heard gasps as first one, and another and then, another star broke through until all the heavens were filled with brilliant starlight, their beams stretching to touch one another.

I looked at the horizon again and saw where the earth and sky formed a line and stars blinked along it the way diamonds do on a necklace. I turned back to my ancient stool for a seat to observe the wonder of it all. At the base of the stump, where gnarled roots snaked away and into the ground, a single green stalk now stood. Tender green leaves had unfurled during the long dark night and now began to reach to the lightening sky.

Then, it came, blazing from the east and banishing the darkness to the depths. A fresh breeze began to blow and dawn came with a chorus of songbirds. We were here.

Now, what will we do?

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Blessed Beyond the Promise

Most of us will take a moment to look back over the year today. You may have already done so, perhaps during a family get together. You'll find good times and bad. Days of extreme happiness or devastating sorrow will come to mind. You notice that, in the course of 365 days, most of us will run the gamut of every emotion. Be thankful.

No matter how horrible your year, how straightened your circumstances, how great your loss, be thankful. There is no greater blessing than life and if you've lived in the desert, wandered the valley, climbed the mountain you have lived. If you survive past midnight tonight, it will have been a great year because you were blessed with 365 days of life, however hard it was or was not.

My view of things has changed much in the last year. Not because I'm well or richer or happier. Because at some point I recognized that I am blessed beyond measure and highly favored. I am a daughter of a king, a child of the most High. In the good times, in the bad times, in the darkest place imaginable, I am blessed and I'm so very thankful for the protection and provision that God has given me in 2016.

If you survive to see 2017, go forward knowing that God is able to provide whatever you need. He did not promise to do more than provide your needs. The truth is you don't need nearly as much as you have and if you have more than you need, you are blessed beyond the promise.

Imagine that... blessed beyond the promise! How can you not be happy with that knowledge! God has provided you with more than he promised!

Happy New Year to you all! May God grant you the grace to see beyond the superficial and recognize the supernatural.



Friday, November 4, 2016

What is Blessing?

For the last couple of days I've been reminded several times of how blessed I am. The sensation of being blessed has just been overwhelming. This set me wondering why it is often so hard to notice when we're blessed. I know many of us say, "I'm blessed." But as Inigo Montoya* once said, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

We're all blessed just to be above ground and breathing. That's not what I'm talking about. We are here by decree. God placed us here. He didn't place us here as a blessing. At least, I don't believe so. He placed us here so he could spend time with us. That is a blessing of sorts but may folks don't believe in God, are not religious, or have miserable lives. So, just being alive and present is not necessarily a blessing to many.

What is a blessing? Pentecostals often say, "He got a blessing" when someone shouts under the influence of the Holy Ghost. Others say a financial windfall is a blessing. Some of us considered the "A" on our report card a blessing. I guess those can all be defined as blessings. The report card probably occurred because you worked hard, not because God gave it to you. He gave you the intelligence to achieve it but  believe me, he didn't make it easy. The windfall could be because of hard work made possible by the strength he gave you. Winning the lottery... not so much. It is a game of chance. Many folks think the universe came about the same way, by chance. So, that's isn't a blessing either. Chance negates God's participation. Nothing God is involved in is subject to chance.

The dictionary defines blessing this way:
1 a :  the act or words of one that blesses
   b :  approval, encouragement
2    :  a thing conducive to happiness or welfare
3    :  grace said at a meal

I think the words approval and encouragement are what I recognize as blessings. We designate so many things as a blessing that I think we lose sight of what the bare bones of the concept really is. God's approval and his encouragement are the basis of real blessing. To have his approval and be encouraged by him when life is a mess is an amazing blessing. You may not recognize the blessing at the time, but eventually, you can look back with clarity and see just how much you are blessed.

Face it, it is easy to feel blessed when the bills are paid, there's food on the table, and a roof over your head. It is much harder when the bank account is empty after you paid for all that. Writing that tithe check is a struggle when a bill collector just told you to sell something to pay them. When the baby is sick and you have no one to call it is hard to feel blessed. When your spouse dies and you sit in an empty house alone you don't feel blessed. You don't even feel God at times.

I've experienced every one of those things. I know how I felt. Alone, forsaken, and destitute. Not blessed. When I couldn't take my kid to the doctor because I had no money and no insurance. When my husband and I had nothing but temp jobs for over a year. It is a horrible feeling. But I remember we still managed to survive, pay the bills, and keep our house. I remember getting a job I applied for after I promised to pay extra tithes for one year if God would give me the job. Do you know, when faced with it I hesitated. But I did it... for two years. We were better off financially than we'd ever been before.

Was it a blessing? What was the blessing and who was blessed? Check the first definition. An act by which one blesses. I wasn't the one getting blessed. God was. He took me at my word and I had to follow through.  I blessed him.

And he blessed me. With his approval and encouragement. I wanted to pay the extra that second year. I loved being able to do it. I recognized the graciousness of God allowing me the ability to do so.

I have RA, fibromyalgia, and take tons of medication. I've asked for healing. Over and over and over. God hasn't healed me. Standing in church last Sunday I had to sit down. With no warning, I felt as if I'd been hit by a bus. In moments, pain swept over my whole body. I was in church, worshiping God and was hit with terrible pain. I thought I'd have to leave immediately. Where's the blessing?

My son saw how sick I was and asked the pastor to come pray for me. Did the pain leave? It eased up but it did not leave.  I went home in pain. But I feel so blessed.

In recent months I've begun to think that being blessed is not a state of being. It is a state of mind. It isn't something you can see, taste, or touch. Blessings are not things, places, or people. It is a brain thing. How your mind sees your condition and situation determine whether or not you're blessed. You can look at a broken leg as a disaster. Never mind that the other person in the car crash died.  Perhaps they went home to be with the Lord.  Who got blessed?

Blessing isn't location based. It isn't positional. It isn't health based. It isn't wealth based. Blessing is relationship based. How you view the chaos around you is important because it determines your relationship with others, particularly God. Wallowing in pity may feel good for about a minute. If it didn't we wouldn't do it. Admit it, you feel justified in your misery. Well, I do. But it doesn't matter. Misery doesn't affect blessing. Because it is relational, not emotional. God loves me when I'm miserable, probably more than when I 'm happy. Because he wants to comfort me.

That is blessing.

Stop thinking your situation is hopeless. Maybe it is. Maybe there is no cure, no fix, no money, no friends. But God wants to comfort you right where you are because your relationship is where you find him.

It is ok to feel bad. It is ok to cry. It is ok to be angry, sick, disgusted, annoyed, frustrated, or furious. Those are emotions God gave us. The Bible says "Be angry and sin not." Recognize that God is in the storm and in the calm. He's in the fire and the flood. In the midst of turmoil he seeks to hold your hand and walk you through it. Or he's waiting on the other side for you to walk to him.

That is the blessing.







*The Princess Bride

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

I Am Blessed

It has been a rough month... and it is only half over. I won't go into all the things that have hit me . It would take too long and range from the physical to the emotional to the spiritual and affected several relationships. You name it, I've dealt with it in the space of the last 6 weeks.

But there is a strange thing that has happened during all of it. The same words kept coming to my mind every time I was overwhelmed by stress, distress, anxiety, frustration, and annoyance.

I am blessed. I am highly favored. God has been so good and provided for me in every way possible.

 No, he didn't heal me of the horrible pain I've been dealing with or the emotional stresses that assailed me. Yet, the feeling of being so very blessed was there, in the middle of pain, in the middle of the stress.

I hate anxiety. I hate the shortness of breath, the tightness in my chest, the creeping fear that causes the hair on my arms to stand up. I hate the sensation that something is about to pounce, something dark and scary that I can't see. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. Fear that has no direction, no limit, and no discernable source. It is the "Something is coming" feeling of every horror movie you ever saw.

But I am so blessed. God, for some unimaginable reason, smiled on me at some point.

Oh, I wish I could tell you the stories that would shock you, the ones that would make you stare open mouthed at me. I don't dare. I try and forget those. But how could all that happen to someone and they still say they are blessed.

I don't know. I really don't. I ask myself how and it makes no sense. I just know that the reality hits me in the chest at the most horrible times in my life. When I'm out of control, when I'm prostrate from grief, pain, or fear, I know if I listen carefully, shut out the chaotic sounds of my life, I can hear the words.

I am so very blessed. God is still in control.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

The Search for Happiness

I've been missing Jerry a lot of late. I usually do between November and February. I suppose it came late this year. It isn't a continuous pain but a sudden, stabbing in the hollow places of my heart. 

Yesterday, as I drove home from work through a neighborhood with some lovely homes, I was assailed with longing for something I think I was unaware that I had ever possessed. The average-middle class homes arrayed along a gentle, curving street with neat yards that had received years of attention were a bit above the lower middle-class income we had but it wasn't about that. It was more.

Yearning is a little used word these days but that is the only word that works for what I was feeling. As I drove along, my mind filled in blanks with children tumbling on a green carpet and a small dog barking and scrambling to be a part of the excitement. The windows glowed with evening lights and the smell of fresh cut grass and barbeque seemed to drift on the air. But it didn't. It was all in my head and I ached with the thoughts of it all. 

I left the neighborhood and entered my own, slightly more modest section. As I did so, in the midst of all that painful yearning I heard myself say, "I've had a good life." There is a sense of disbelief even when I write it because I don't remember ever thinking that in my whole life. Life has been hard. At times, nearly impossible. There is not enough time, nor am I inclined to share the worst of it. 

Recently, my mind began to trot out memories that I didn't really forget but rather, had neglected in favor of less appealing ones. And ... the truth is ... I've had a great life. I'm overwhelmingly blessed and favored. I know this. That was a new feeling, an almost devastatingly painful feeling. It hurt terribly to think it. Not because it wasn't a wonderful realization but because I had failed to recognize it until I am an old woman. This is something we should know when we're young. Maybe other people do. I don't know. I just know I never knew it. At least, I don't think I did.

The feeling clung to me the rest of the evening and today but I still had trouble believing it. My life had so many twists and turns that it was hard to imagine it as "great".

I was given away to grandparents and it was the best thing that could have happened to me, despite a childhood filled with the ugliness of alcohol. I had wonderful aunts, uncles, and cousins, the memories of whom still make my heart smile. 

I was 17 when Mama died but I married a wonderful man who only wanted to make me happy the rest of his life. And he tried every day, for the next 35 years.

At 21, I was in Europe and I walked the halls of ancient castles and palaces. I climbed trails in the Bavrian Alps, slaked my thrist from an icy artisian well, and gazed over parapets at beautiful green valleys. I strolled the Champs Elysee, climbed the Eiffel Tower, and stared at the flying buttresses and stained glass of Notre Dame. I shopped in Germany. I lived in five US states. I've slept under stars, hiked woodland trails, and swam in the ocean. I've played in the sand, dug in the dirt, and laid on the grass and painted clouds. I've laughed, cried, and raged over wonderful, foolish, and dreadful things.
It is a mystery to me how I missed all that. Although, I think the truth is that I didn't miss it... then. I miss it all now. I crave the excitement and the laughter and the mystery that each of those days provided. I long for the feeling of walking along a Paris street on Jerry's arm. Now life seems so tame, so bland, so predictable. For someone who stood in the throne room of a once great king, today feels anticlimatic. 

Yet, today whispered a secret in my ear. "I've had a great life." I've been blessed with more than wealth, more than fame. I've rocked my babies and watched them grow into wonderful men. I sang to my grandchild and am amazed at her beautiful soul and smile that blinds me. I'm blessed to find a new friend when my son remarried, and gained two grandchildren. I still have aunts, uncle, cousins, and siblings that shower me with love.  

No, I have not done all the things I wanted to do but I have done a lot of things I never dreamed I would do. So, perhaps happiness is not something you look for, but rather something you find. And a wonderful life is determined solely by your perspective.


Monday, July 13, 2015

The Broken Covenant

Courtesy Pixabay.com
I'm grieved a lot lately. There is so much craziness going on in this country. Never mind the rest of the world. America has become a byword, as my Mama used to say. With all the chaos and hatred being fostered and fed in this country by the inmates of this American Insane Asylum I now find myself trapped in, I've been asking where we're headed.

I've lived through some amazing times when the country was divided but eventually came together and reunified, slowly to be sure, but progress was being made. I've watched certain parties slowly apply wedges in that joint and pry it apart, chipping away at all that had been accomplished by dedicated, intelligent men and women, some of whom died. I've watched the 21 Century MLK wannabes make fools of themselves and those who follow them.

I've also heard the voice of the watchmen crying loudly from the walls of the City on a Hill that was once a shining beacon to the world for peace, prosperity, and hope to the tired, downtrodden, and destitute but which is now a guttering candle struggling to light the darkness spreading across this land of zombies and dead men walking. Because darkness is spreading. We have turned a corner and are about to watch the greatest downfall since the Roman Empire. I believe this because all the signs are there.

So it was with a shock when I read today the outcome expressed in these words to a nation hell-bent on following its own way with no thought to the warning signs. It speaks about the Jerusalem but as we all know, any nation that blatantly transgresses has condemned itself to judgment and is subject to the wrath of God. Here is the outcome for a nation warned and unheeding of the warning. I've deleted some text to shorten it. You can look up the original if you choose.

2 Chronicles 36:13-16 -- He became stiff-necked and hardened his heart and would not turn to the Lord.......all the leaders of the priests and the people became more and more unfaithful, following all the detestable practices of the nations and defiling the temple of the Lord, ....The Lord, the God of their ancestors, sent word to them through his messengers again and again, because he had pity on his people and on his dwelling place. But they mocked God’s messengers, despised his words and scoffed at his prophets until the wrath of the Lord was aroused against his people and there was no remedy.

This nation has been blessed beyond measure. People who had nothing came here and became unbelievably prosperous. To come to America meant you could live well. Millions did it. It became known as the land of promise to any who stepped on her shores. Did you even notice when that changed? You can blame it on politicians, but did you not see that they had no control over it? In fact, did you notice that the counselor to our leaders helped them make decisions that have destroyed the economy and the culture of this nation?

Look back in time to when the prosperity began to fail. As of today, we are a nation near destruction. No longer can anyone succeed in this country. No longer is there freedom to the oppressed and dejected. No longer is there peace in our borders. No longer is there the rule of law. The law is now twisted and contorted to suit the demands of the few and lawless. The flames of hatred are fanned by malicious and violent people. For the first time in history, the nation is at risk of terrorist from outside and inside. Why?

Because what you are witnessing is the removal of a blessing that was originally placed on this nation. A covenant was made by the founding fathers of America. But we have defiled the land and broken the covenant that was made by the founders.

I don't care what you think. Each of those men believed in a higher power and dedicated this nation to that power, and they signed a pact to that effect.

The final line of the Declaration of Independence says:  "We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

With the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the founders of this nation made a signed contract where they state they are appealing to the Supreme Judge for the morally correct behavior or thinking; righteousness of their intentions and that they firmly rely on the protection of divine Providence. They pledged their lives, fortunes and honor to one another. This pact is a covenant. With the signing of this document, the founders, not only notified the King of our independence from Britain, they made a signed Covenant with God for his direction and protection.

American has rejected and revoked that covenant. We no longer are under the protection or direction of God. We have rejected both. When you break a covenant, the rules and promises made by that covenant are no longer binding. America no longer resides under the protection of the Supreme Judge because we rejected the morally correct thinking agreed upon by the men who signed the covenant and we've rejected the righteousness and morally right thinking.

I know I stand in a ridiculed and marked minority. Those who have rejected the counsel of God and the warnings of the watchmen now seek to silence the voices that would still cry out a warning. We love our nation. We love our people. We plead for their restoration.

I do not know when or what form destruction will come. I believe it is coming. I only know that there is always a point beyond which you must not go. If you elect to step outside the wall, the watchmen can't save you. When you break your covenant with the Supreme Judge, there is no power that can save you. As the Chronicler noted, there is no remedy.

Isaiah 24:1-6 (NIV)

See, the Lord is going to lay waste the earth
    and devastate it;
he will ruin its face
    and scatter its inhabitants—
2 it will be the same
    for priest as for people,
    for the master as for his servant,
    for the mistress as for her servant,
    for seller as for buyer,
    for borrower as for lender,
    for debtor as for creditor.
3 The earth will be completely laid waste
    and totally plundered.
The Lord has spoken this word.
4 The earth dries up and withers,
    the world languishes and withers,
    the heavens languish with the earth.
5 The earth is defiled by its people;
    they have disobeyed the laws,
violated the statutes
    and broken the everlasting covenant.
6 Therefore a curse consumes the earth;
    its people must bear their guilt.



Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Reason for Blessing


I remembered something that a very old woman once taught me. Her name was Kate Fletcher. She walked everywhere she went, despite the ill fitting prosthetic leg, sometime even turning down rides because of the difficulty getting out of vehicles. When I knew her she was in her 80s.

Sister Fletcher was a member of my church and seemed to appear in my life when I needed a counselor. I was 18, newly married with no mother. She was a woman of great faith and wisdom, and more than once I sought her counsel. She never failed. More than once I showed up at her home after midnight and she was actually at the door looking out. On one occasion she said, "The Lord told me someone was coming but not who." Another time she said, "I was waiting for you."

I remembered a time when I was searching for something and I went to her home. She prayed for me and she told me, "God will give no one more blessing than they can handle." It was an unusual concept for me.  

God's blessings are unreserved in depth and scope. We have only to be faithful to our calling. But they are not endless and they are not without limit.

Parents reward their children based on how they behave. Yes, you do. Good behavior reaps good rewards. Bad behavior, if you are a good parent, reaps negative rewards. You wouldn't give a child an ice cream cone for slapping a parent or screaming at your guest. Well, maybe some people would, but they end up with odious children.

As your child grows, the rewards become more advanced. Good grades may get better and better rewards. Allowances increase based on performance but poor performance, poor grades reduce the rewards. You bless them according to how they preform. You may do other things for them for no reason other than because you love them, but there are blessing you give only because of what they do.

You may bless your teenager with an inexpensive car to do their running on but repeated traffic violation result in the loss of that blessing. They simply can't handle the responsibility of obeying traffic laws. You take the car and they take the bus. I've been here. The rule was your car, you 're fine. And they paid them. That is not a blessing. That is a penalty for not being responsible.

You may help your adult children with the down payment on a new home, if you have been blessed with the money to do that. They neglect to make the payments and they lose that home. They could not take on the responsibility of maintaining a home.

God blesses only according to what we can maintain. The concept she introduced me to that day has gotten me through some terrible times. The more I am responsible and the longer I am faithful, the greater the blessings become. There are times I'm overwhelmed at what I have received for no apparent reason. I am not blessed because I'm smarter or better than anyone else. I am blessed because God has trusted me with some things that even I didn't think I could handle. I don't always think I deserve things He has given me, but it isn't what I think that matters. It is what He thinks. And the knowledge that He thought I could handle something is a blessing and an overwhelming concept. Some days I'm literally stunned by it.

I know people who are constantly down on their luck. They can't get a break. Everything they do fails. All efforts to "get ahead" set them further and further behind. Nothing they attempt prospers. If you talked to them, they just don't understand.

In every case I've seen of people I know personally, I see the same thing over and over. Their walk with God had faltered in some fashion or ended. Their attitude, their behavior has become negative and sometimes, they are obviously not living as they know they should. They have gone farther and farther away from what they believed and become almost hostile. The blessings that once seemed to flow in, now flow out. But all they see is the falling tide, and the absence of things. They don't see the cause.

Like a child, they see everything that happens as unfair or someone else's fault. When a marriage gets in trouble, they need a new partner. Things would be better if I had a better spouse. When finances fail, it is the other spouse's spending that caused it. Or it is the other person's fault they lost the job. When children are unmanageable, it is the schools, friends, or other relatives' fault. Like all children, we refuse to look in the mirror and see that we are the reason that we are blessed or not blessed. Instead, we clench our fist, stomp our feet and scream, "IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I am a good person. I love God. I...... I..... I....."

My life is miserable. You heard me. I have pain so much that there are times I just want to die. Really. I don't say that much because the devil has a way of using our words to beat us up. In my mind, I know I don't want to die, but I want the pain to stop. Some days I can hardly walk. My legs won't work, my feet hurt, my back is in agony. I have family that I can see are not being blessed and I am struggling with watching them fall farther and farther away and deeper and deeper into trouble. They don't even see what is happening. They can't see the chasm that is looming at their feet. I spend days praying for something to wake them up. I lost my husband and best friend and I have no one to talk to and no one to turn to when I'm in pain and suffering heartaches. I spend hours in my home and no one calls or comes by. 

So, how could I see any good in all that? What can make up for the losses? Ah. I see things that no one else sees that I know are blessings I can't possibly have deserved. They wouldn't mean a thing to others, but they are enormous reminders that I am not forgotten by God. Yes, sometimes it seems like it but I know I'm not. I'm not a bestselling author, but Im blessed with enough talent to bless others with my writing. My husband died, and nothing can replace that, but because of his service and his faithfulness I have benefits. He took care of his family, was faithful to us and God and provided for us even when he was dying. He told me once that he believed his disability was a blessing from God and he never asked God to heal him. That disability resulted in his death. What he suffered resulted in my blessing and in my ability to bless others. I'm blessed with a job that allows me to meet my needs and provides me with health insurance. I'm not wealthy, far from it. Yet, I'm blessed enough to bless my church and my children. The lack of local friends resulted in a circle of online friends who I talk to several times a week. They make me laugh, encourage me, share their lives with me, and some of them pray for me. Those who don't pray, I know they wish me well. All the places in my life that hurt have had a blessing added to it.

I don't know why but God trusted with these things, the good and the bad. My life is usually chaos and I'm stressed and wounded and heartbroken. But in the middle of chaos there is the eye of the storm that I strive to live in. Sometimes the storm overtakes me. I'm overwhelmed by it but I have to keep moving in the right direction to find the eye again. I can't stop the storm. I can only stay in the eye.

Sister Fletcher was right. God won't bless anyone with anything greater than they can handle. It isn't good for us. What does that mean? Some blessings become our destruction. How many people have you seen on the news with millions of dollars and they commit suicide? They had everything but were not happy with the blessings. Why? Yes, I know mental illness explains everything. Its convenient. But it isn't always true. Sometime they get lost in the storm. How many divorced couples have you seen who were even more miserable afterward? How many people have you seen who left a good job for a better one only to find they hated it? How many people have you heard complain about all their troubles and you're wondering what's wrong with them because they have everything anyone could need? You know you have!

Like all children, we choose our blessings, and we choose our curses. You won't see it that way. That's unfortunate. If once you could see the flow of blessings as something significant, it would change your entire outlook on events in your life. If you can just connect the dots, you can see the complete picture. It isn't the blessing that is important. It is the reason for the blessing that is so important. 

I'm blessed, not because I think I deserve it, because He thought so. 

How much can God trust you? 

Friday, February 29, 2008

A Walk Through the Orchard


Al and Joe were neighbors and were in the habit of walking each day after work along the road next to the orchard. They each had their own path but sometimes their paths crossed. They would speak politely but walk on. It just so happened that one day they met along the road and fell into step. From that day on it seemed they were always walking together and so it became a routine they both enjoyed. Aside from their daily walk, they seldom saw each other.

Early one Saturday morning they got to discussing how lovely the orchard looked with it’s ruby red apples among the green leaves. Joe stepped into the field to the nearest tree and looked up. “What a wonderful apple. It is the prettiest red I have ever seen. I bet it is so sweet and juicy.”

Al moved to get a look. “Well, I don’t know. It looks all right but you can never tell. I think the apples that come though my plant are the best looking in the world.”

“You work in an apple plant?” Joe looked quizzically at Al. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it’s a fruit and juice plant but I am an apple inspector. It is my job to inspect every apple that comes through the plant to insure that only the best apples are allowed into our packages or juice.”

“Apple inspector?   Wow. You mean that if it doesn’t pass your inspection, it won’t be in the juice?”

Al pulled his shoulders back, hitched his belt and sniffed. “Yep. That’s the way it works. It is my job to make sure the bad apples are identified. Bad apples are dumped.”

“So, what do you look for?”

For a minute Al pondered. “Well, we look for bruising, cuts, scars, color, and bugs.”

“Hmmm. Well, all these apples look fine to me.”

Al shook his head. “You can’t tell just by glancing at the tree. No, you gotta examine it real close to find any flaws. I mean, you can’t find scars and bruising just by looking at the tree from here, now can you?”

Joe hesitated and looked the tree over. “Well, no, but why would bruising, scars and cuts be on he fruit that is still on the tree?  I mean, I would think that would only happen in storms or if the fruit gets knocked off someway and lands on the ground. But even then, it might still be good to eat. If you don’t mess with the fruit it won’t get bruised up. Fruit on the tree just needs to be picked and eaten.”

“Only perfect apples get in my juice.”

“Well, why would color matter?  I mean a good apple can be any color.”

“Color could indicate ripeness. We want apples that are just the right stage of ripeness. I mean the juice could be bitter if the apple is not ripe enough and the taste might be a little off if an apple is too ripe. No, I have to be real careful about color, too.”

Joe studied the tree. “I still say these apples look great. I didn’t eat this morning and I am kind of hungry. My mouth is watering just looking at them.” Joe reached up to the apple nearest him. “Just look how plump it is and how shiny.”

Al shook his head, “I’m telling you, Joe, unless they are inspected by a trained eye you shouldn’t mess with them. There might be something wrong with this tree.”

Joe hesitated but pulled the apple off and sniffed it. “It smells good, too.”  He bit into it eagerly. He closed his eyes, “Mmmmmmm, Al, that is the best apple I ever ate. I am so hungry. Try one, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Not me. If I want apples I get ‘em at the supermarket . . . after they have been inspected. Besides, I don’t really care for them much. I see so much bad fruit it kinda turns you off them after awhile.”

Al and Joe resumed their walk. Joe munched on his apple in silence for a long time. Finally, he said, “Al, you ever think about another line of work?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, why do we need fruit inspectors?”

“So, unsuspecting folks don’t get sick from eating bad fruit?”
  
“Don’t you think a person could inspect their own fruit and determine if it is bad or not?”

Al didn’t respond directly but said, “Well, the owner might not be honest enough to admit he had bad fruit. Fruit inspectors are necessary to keep folks honest. We insure the safety of the innocent. Anyway, I’ve been doing this for 20 years. What else would I do?”

Joe munched his apple for a moment then a light seemed to go off in his face. He looked at Al and said, “Maybe you could GROW apples.”

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance . . . .” Galatians 5:22-23.

We have all read or heard that verse dozens of times but one Sunday morning as the Bible class teacher read, something went off in my mind that I can only describe as a small nuclear explosion. I was awestruck as a new understanding broke over me. As I hurried to write down the thoughts before they slipped away, I remembered something else. Several weeks earlier, on the preceding page of my notebook, I had made a few notes regarding another scripture.

“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”  Matt. 7:20.

Weeks before those scribblings had led nowhere but that Sunday morning the pieces of the puzzle fell together perfectly and the picture that emerged was breathtaking. On Sunday night, while getting ready for bed, came the story A Walk Through the Orchard.

 There is one basic question that we all ask when faced with the realization of eternity. “What must I do to be saved?” Most of us believe that we know the answer. But then, I took a walk through the Orchard.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve walked thorough the orchard and passed beautiful, sweet-smelling, fruit-filled trees. The fragrance of the ripe fruit permeated the air around her. But Eve didn’t’ stop and savor those fruits. Instead, she journeyed to the center of the Garden and looked on the one tree she had been forbidden. As she gazed at that fruit, a craving pulled at her soul and consumed her. Her mind registered the visual image of a tantalizing fruit. The image she saw answered three questions that her craving had provoked. She saw that the fruit was good for nourishment, it looked good, and it would make her a better person.

But Eve was not hungry. She had no reason to be. Nourishment was never truly a factor in her craving. There were thousands of trees in the garden from which to choose. She could have walked up to any other tree and picked the fruit of her choice. Any other fruit in the garden would have fulfilled her every need and she could have eaten as much as she wanted. In fact, all the other fruit in the garden would provide nourishment, it would look good, and it would make her a better person. She lied to herself. But, instead of walking away, she looked at the forbidden fruit, the bad fruit. She picked it, she ate it, and she died. We have all been inspecting fruit ever since and, like Eve, it is not because we are hungry.

In Mark 11:12 and Matt 21:17 is the story of a fig tree that Jesus approached in search of figs. When he saw the leaves but no figs he cursed the tree and the next day it was withered and dead. Interestingly, Mark is careful to note that it was not time for figs yet. So, Jesus cursed a tree that didn’t have fruit when He needed it. Jesus was hungry. Jesus was searching for good fruit. He needed something to eat right then, but the tree was bare. Because the tree did not provide for the need, he cursed it. And the tree died.

In A Walk Through the Orchard, Al and Joe marched along different paths for a time but eventually they fell into step. All along their way were trees filled with fruit. Al knew all about fruit. But Joe was hungry. Joe began to search for nourishment. And it is to the heavily laden trees along his path that he turned. He searched and satisfied his hunger with good fruit. But Al, who knew so much about fruit and had fruit all around him every day, had none to share and had no desire for good fruit. In fact, Al was afraid to eat any of the fruit that hung within his reach because he had not inspected it. Al viewed his lot in life as a protector of the innocent. It was his job to root out the rotten fruit. He lied to himself. In reality, he wasn’t protecting anyone.

There are Christians who feel a need, who believe it is their job, to inspect the fruit of others. In reality, they are searching for that which is missing in their own lives. They have no fruit to fulfill the needs of those seeking nourishment nor are they seeking nourishment for themselves. They don’t desire fruit anymore. All their time is spent on inspecting, searching for the bad fruit, not producing. They are barren and only by pulling the fruit off others, do they feel useful.

The problem is, when you start handling fruit, you damage it. You leave bruises, scars, and wounds from all the rough handling. Sometimes, the fruit will be so ready to eat that it can be easily knocked off the tree or bruised. Fruit that is knocked on the ground may never be eaten because it is so badly damaged from the fall. As a result, someone will go hungry because the fruit that was there to nourish has been destroyed.

Christians are NOT called to be fruit inspectors. Jesus never suggested that. At the time Jesus stated Matt 7:20, the disciples were not born again; they were not yet Christians. Jesus was talking to sinners and warning them of false prophets. He was telling sinners that if they were hungry there would be signs telling them where to get nourishment. Later, when he cursed the fig tree, he gave a profound example on the fate of those who fail to feed the hungry. The hungry are supposed to be the fruit inspectors. As Christians, we are expected to have the fruit available to feed the hungry. If we don’t, we will die.

I grew up hearing about winning souls but I never heard advice on exactly how one is to do that in a world where no one wants to listen. And suddenly, in one awe-inspiring moment and with brilliant clarity, I knew. It is the fruit that feeds the hungry. Fruit saves a dying world from starvation. Fruit sustains the weak. Fruit provides nutrients for growth. Fruit answers a craving for sweetness in a bitter world. We can preach a thousands sermons, recite the entire Bible on a street corner, but if there is no fruit hanging out there in the branches, the hungry will look elsewhere to be fed. And so, as I sat through that Sunday morning service, I had an overwhelming desire for fruit. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.

I found myself ashamed. I realized that far too often I spend time inspecting the other trees in the orchard for bad fruit and not worrying about whether or not I am producing good fruit. How many have come by needy, looking for nourishment and gone away hungry because they found nothing. God help me!  I want fruit, so much fruit that the boughs break under the weight of it, so much that the fragrance fills the air around me. And I want to be hungry!   I want to see a starving world fed with the fruit that satisfies all hunger. Winning the lost is not done with pretty speeches but rather by feeding starving souls. I don’t want to be a fruit inspector. I want to be a producer of fruit. God give me fruit so that anyone who takes a walk through the orchard can be fed!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22


Friday, June 23, 2006

Blessings, Curses, & Wars

I am reading a book called Blessing or Curse: You can Chose. It was written by Derek Prince. I have read this book three times. The first time was about seven years ago. I was in great distress and contemplating suicide. What I learned about blessings and curses truly saved my life. I won't go into detail but let me just say he teaches that some of the problems we have in life may be the result of curses that have descended through our families, thorough our actions or words, or through inactions.

Now I know there are those who will immediately say this is not scriptural, that grace has cured everything. However, since this book uses scripture to support the premise, I will respectfully disagree. Besides, I know what I have experienced. I was dying.

I had personal problems and my life was going down the tubes pretty quickly. I was in my late 30's, had graduated college only about three years before but we had both lost our jobs and had been unemployed for about 2 years. I was so depressed and so I just started looking for a way out that would be painless. I even began to plan it.

I reached a point where I sat down in my bedroom, crying and told God I felt
cursed and I needed help because I didn't believe Christians could be cursed. And less than a month later I found this book. I followed the instructions carefully. Within six month we were both employed and I was getting well spiritually, mentally and physically. Life actually became pretty good. And after two years, things were great.

So why am I reading it again? Because sometimes we forget things. Sometimes things happen to drag us down. Either way, we sometimes go back to self destructive habits, thoughts, and behaviors. I think I have been doing that and that for some time have over extended myself. I also think I have allowed things to happen that should not have happened, not obviously, just the "little foxes".

I guess I have just not been paying attention. And God is always so patient with me. But at some point I have to say I am responsible for what happens to me. It is not always someone else's fault. Life doesn't just happen. We make it.

So, I am rereading this book again. And I expect something good to happen. Maybe that is what it is all about. Being vigilant, watching for trouble spots, and once the enemy is identified, become agressive in attacking it. We are at war.

"12. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV) Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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