Monday, October 17, 2016

A Star to Steer By

It's been interesting, you know?
I try to make it so. What, exactly, have you found interesting?
I'm different.
At least, today I am. I have been for a little bit.
How so?
I'm not sure. Something is different.
In a good way, I hope.
.... I think so.... Yes.
Well, I'm glad to hear it. 
The medicine has given me a chance to breathe.
And we certainly want you breathing.
That's funny.
I try.
I was. But we're digressing. What is different.
I'm in the right place. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel I'm in the right spot. Or at least on the right road.
Oh, well, that's good. You must have been reading the map.
{sigh} I always read the maps.
Sure you do.
Anyway, at some point in the last several months, something shifted and I knew the decisions I'd made were the right ones. That, whatever else happened, I had turned onto the right road and was headed .... north?
It's a direction.
Yes, well, as a southerner one might say the wrong direction. But the north star is used to navigate. If one is lost, find the north star and get your bearings.
You've found your bearings?
...................... I think so. But I'm still afraid.
No surprise there. It is one of your most endearing qualities.
I mean it in the nicest way. When you are afraid, you always call me. 
I'm sorry. I try very hard not to be afraid.
You don't trust yourself very much and sometimes you don't trust me either. I'll tell you a secret.
You've actually started trusting me more. 
Are you being funny again? Because...
No, I'm serious. You're still a little terrified. But overall, I'm very pleased with your progress.
Me, too.