Into His Courts With Praise

Welcome. This blog has been a while in coming because I've been resistant to doing it. I started about two years ago to create it. Had it named and set up on my dashboard but never posted to it and never even made it public. It was just a name in my growing list of blogs. I left it that way for awhile but every time I came to my dashboard there it was, taunting me. Finally, out of frustration  annoyance, or just resignation that I'd never get it going, I gave up and actually deleted it from my blogs. That took care of it.

I thought.

Last week I took two days off because for over a month I had been very sick and was getting worse. I had to take off for a couple of days to get to a doctor and find out what was happening to me. Apparently, on top of everthing else I have, I have the Epstein Barr virus. I'd never heard of it. Didn't know what it was or what it would do to me. So, I was sick and scared and so very tired. 

During my time off I simply sat in a chair and listened to some YouTube videos and read some inspirational books. And I prayed because I don't know what else to do when I'm sick, and afraid, and alone. There is no one to hold my hand or wrap their arms around me.

I wish I could report I had this huge infusion of faith and was instantly healed and all my problems solved. I can't. I wish I could tell you I felt immensely better and didn't feel frightened anymore. I can't. I wish I could tell you that I knew everything was going to be all right. I could tell you all that. But I'd be lying. None of that happened.

Something else did.

I realized that no matter how bad it is, no matter how frightened I am, no matter how sick, frustrated, or tired I always want to be thankful and to render to God the praise He deserves despite life knocking me down and trampling all over me. So, I prayed and cried and listened.

During my attempt at rest a conversation ensued, in my head anyway.

"You need to start a blog called Rendered Praise." 

Sigh.

"I can't."

"Rendered Praise. You know... you had that started and just let it go."

"Because I didn't know what to put on it. I couldn't come up with anything to write about."

"You can now."

Pause. Shake of the head. "I don't think I can. I'm not very thankful for what is happening to me."

"Didn't say thankful."

Oh.

"Well, I think I still have the blog out there on my list."

"No. You deleted it."

Oh. "Are you sure?"

I looked. Yes, deleted. Why did I do that?

"Doesn't matter. You can recreate it."

Sigh. Nods head. "Yes.... I guess so."

"Good.  Get started."

So, this week I recreated the blog and started thinking about what I'd post here. Just as I thought... I had no idea. Not a glimmer of one. Then, on Monday night around one a.m., after I went to bed exhausted from a night of trials, a glimmer of something came to me and I got up and jotted down a few notes. I knew it'd be gone in the morning and I'd need something to prompt me. In the morning, it wasn't gone and I knew I had the start of my first real post for this blog.

"I still don't know what to put on here."

"It'll come to you. Over time, maybe not every day or even every week. But over time, you'll get better at it. I mean, look at that, you've already started."

"It doesn't seem like much."

"I don't know. I like it."

"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:4. 

"See I told you, thanksgiving. Right there in black and white. And I still don't feel thankful."

"Will you get over it! Remember all those morning drives... for years now? Take my word for it, you're thankful...uh, maybe not so much for the bad stuff. But you're thankful. Besides, you're beyond the gates. You're in the courts."

Oh. Right. "So now what?"

"It's a surprise."

"Great. Just what I need."

"And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord." Psalm 27:6

I smiled. "Good one."

"I thought so."


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