Merry Christmas & Blessed New Year!

Merry Christmas to all those who have followed this blog! Thank you for sticking around and putting up with my rambling posts. I hope my words encouraged you, enlightened you, made you smile, or comforted you. 

I don't post often because posts to this blog are different. I never know what I'll write about because I try to let my heart speak or let the Spirit speak through my heart. Sometimes the words were for me alone. Others, they were for someone else. I hope they found their home. 

Does anyone feel that we're watching the last grains of sand slip through the narrow opening of the glass? Time is running out so quickly. This year is almost over and I don't know anyone who would say it's been a good year. I pray the Lord blesses the coming year for us all, but I believe we're living in a time of rising evil. My view is that this is the devil's final onslaught before the end. We're being bombarded with every form of wickedness he can throw at us. The minds and actions of people are twisted and depraved beyond my wildest imaginings. 

When I pray these days, I find I'm praying for protection over those I pray for and for a purging of wicked people. That sounds awful, doesn't it? However, I believe God has offered us all an opportunity to choose who we will serve. If they will not heed His voice, then they are part of the problem we face. We are in the fight of our lives and the battle is with unseen forces. 

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12.

Do not let the old year pass before you take a stand for righteousness. I believe we will be forced to pick sides in this thing. If you have not already, you will. Choose wisely. This may be the last major decision of your life. 

May the blessings of God fill your hearts and homes, may His protection surround you, may His hand guide you, and may his peace comfort you.

Prayers You Never Heard

 I was doing my morning devotionals Sunday morning. I always take time to pray either before or after I read my Bible. I have a list of people and issues that I pray over. When I reached my family, I had a memory that came back to me.

I remembered lying in my bed at night and listening to Mama pray. She'd call off the names of her loved ones, both her daughters and their husbands. She'd call my name, too, and that of all her grandchildren. Those prayers are probably what got me through some very hard times in my life. There were so many of them! Most were for the salvation of her family.

In the middle of this memory, I had a thought. How many prayers must we pray before it is enough? God hears us the first time we pray. This is bourn out by the Bible. Michael, the archangel, told Daniel that God had heard his pray the first day he prayed it. The answer didn't arrive for a month because Michael was fighting the Prince of Persia, a devil that controlled the spiritual realm of that land.  

I thought of the hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers I heard my Mama pray for our family. She never saw the answers to most of them. My heart breaks at that thought. Here I was praying for many of the same people, for the same thing: to recognize their need for a closer walk with God, to find salvation.

In that moment,  I ask God aloud, "How many prayers does it take?" I can't tell you why it was so heartbreaking, but it was. In moments, an answer sharp and clear as if He'd been in the room filled my mind. 

"It doesn't matter how may prayers are prayed for a person. If they do not respond to the call or voice of God, the prayers are useless and wasted."

That answer set me back a bit. I didn't expect it. Surely prayers weren't useless, wasted? That didn't fit with my faith. There was more. 

When you stand before your Judge, (and God will become our Judge,) he will bring out those prayers. He's our Savior now, but death changes our relationship with Him. 

"All the prayers prayed for you will be presented, and you will hear every prayer ever prayed for you. They will be the evidence and a testimony against you."

My mind reeled a bit at that thought. I can hear Mama praying now. I lived with her for 17 years, listening to those prayers at night. She was a praying woman and I know there were times during the day she prayed. How many prayers had she prayed for each one of us? Good Lord, the number was staggering. 

And 46 years later, I'm praying for many of the same people. I have been for a long time. They've never heard any of those prayers. They probably never heard Mama's prayers either.

But they will. We all will. 

#Conversations With Him

This Isn't Jesus

 Today I went looking for Jesus. I found this.

This isn't Jesus. 

So, I looked some more. There are a lot of places to look and practically everyone knows where to find him. This is a nice doll. 

But it isn't Jesus. 

I found this statue. It is so lovely and really makes me smile. It reminds me of Jesus and how he loved children.

But this isn't Jesus. 

So, I kept looking.

I found this photo. He's kind of dark. Well, he was a Jew. I know he wasn't white, and he wasn't black. He wasn't Chinese or Russian. He wasn't Nordic, either. Just a simple Jewish carpenter. 

But this isn't Jesus. 

I felt tired after searching so much. My neck hurt. My back hurt. But I needed to settle this argument about Jesus and what he looked like. 

So, I kept looking. 

This one. Wow, this could be him, I think. But he looks so tired and careworn. There're deep lines in his face, as if all the stress in the world is pressing in. The shoulders are bent beneath some burden I can't see or understand. And he's all alone. I think he might look very much like this right now.

But this isn't Jesus.

You won't find Jesus in a photo, a painting, a sculpture, or a stained glass window. You won't find him on a crucifix. He isn't in a greeting card or on a Christmas tree. 

I've traveled a lot in my life, and I've seen Jesus many times, in many places. Sometimes, he was there ahead of me. Sometimes, I lose him, but he always finds me.

I've seen him here. Every time I attend a worship service, he's there with me. 

You might try that.

If you're looking for Jesus.

You can find him here or someone who needs him.

I'm sure you can find him here, too. You may have to look very hard because they're not thinking about him or talking about him. But he's there, even though he may not be welcome.

I'm sure many of these guys talked to Jesus more than once. 

If you ask this person, they may know him! And if they don't, and you do, you could introduce them. I suspect they could use friends right now. Maybe a hot meal, too.

And I'm sure you'll find him here! He loves to feed the hungry. There is not a single bread line, food kitchen, or shelter where you can't find Jesus. Those feeding the hungry are his best friends. They're his people. The destitute, homeless, hungry, lonely, sad, depressed, desperate. They are all his people, too. 

So why doesn't he help them? Because that's the job he gave you. 

If you don't know what Jesus looks like by now, you haven't been looking. And you're the one who needs him the most. 

The Dreams We Dream Or What the Cat Saw In the Night

 

Well.

Yes, well. 

Things have been happening.

They usually do, if you let them.

I had nothing to do with any of it. Things were fine, calm and collected. I did not rock the boat.

No, that's true. Of course, you don't live on an island — .

Not my choice either!

Right. Well, we are all connected and when something happens —.

Please tell me you're not going to give me the "Butterfly Theory".

Oh. You've heard about that.

I saw the movie. 

Oh. Well.

Seems we're back where we started. 

No, we're still in the same place. Time has moved forward and as you said, things have been happening. 

It's been very difficult this time. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired.

I know. You told me the other night. I'm sorry that you feel so awful. I hear you. I see you. I AM here.

Do you know, I woke up last night, briefly. I was sleeping facing my door. I rolled over and tried to open my eyes but couldn't, except one eye. I turned my head toward the window and I thought I saw a very tall man standing by the window. I think he was looking out. But he'd paused for a moment to touch that plaster anchor on the wall, like he was adjusting it or something. It has a scripture on it: Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

A man?

Yes. I blinked and got the other eye open; but he'd disappeared.

Were you afraid?

That's why I remember it so well. I wasn't. I was half asleep, but I looked again before I closed my eyes. I turned back over and just as I drifted off, the word Guardian went through my mind. 

Interesting.

I just checked that position of the anchor. He was at least 6 feet tall. 

You've had dreams where you woke thinking you saw someone.

Yes. With my heart pounding, and I'd jump nearly out of bed. Sometimes I'd yell out loud. No, this wasn't that. You know what else is strange?

What?

I think he, it, whatever, woke me. I thought I heard a sound. I rolled over to see. And strangest of all, Jet was looking at it, too. He sleeps on that side of the bed, on the pillow. I saw him as I rolled over, staring at that window.

Ah.

I'll never know for sure, will I?

Well, maybe someday you'll know everything. 

{sigh} Yeah. I'd really like that. 

 

All The Way

 So it's 1 in the morning and I was getting ready for bed. I went to the bathroom to brush my hair and put it in a ponytail before going to bed. I made a comment in the mirror.  

"It seems like my life has been one disaster after another. Lord, I don't know how you managed to get me this far."

As clear as day the thought came into my mind, "Kicking and screaming all the way."

#Conversations with Him

Our Trip to The Garden of Eden

Eternal Slavery

That didn't go well (speaking of the previous post).

I noticed.

Pain got out of control. A riot broke out. Criminals tearing down the country. I kind of lost direction. 

That can happen when you lose focus. You get lost.

Oh. Well, yeah, that's kind of what happened. 

I'm sorry. But you seem to have found your way back.

Yes, but I didn't keep up my 10 days of Praise as I planned. I completely flubbed it. 

That's true, but I think we've talked more lately. I've enjoyed that.

Why do I feel so down in the dumps?

Maybe because the world has become a dump? Look at what they're doing. They're saving me a lot of time burning things down. If they keep it up, I won't have much left to do.

I don't think that's funny. It's very painful to watch them try to destroy our history. It isn't perfect, but it reminds us.

They don't want reminders. They can't forgive and so they can't forget. They want to eradicate it and pretend it never happened. It is why they blame people who were in no way responsible. They feel better having someone to blame rather than admitting it can't be fixed or changed. They are stuck in the past and that is why they can't prosper. Tearing down buildings and statues makes them feel as if they've actually done something. They haven't, of course. They've destroyed their own people and lived up to the expectations of certain groups. Rather than defying the stereotypes, they've lived up to them. 

I studied history. It isn't pretty in any age. Terrible things happen to all cultures. But most of them recover, move on, and change their world for the better. Of course, corrupt people pop up and mess it up, but in virtually every case, people overcome and move toward a better state. They don't keep reliving it. 

The world no longer looks to the source of love and forgiveness. They no longer abide by holy laws. They've become corrupt in their hearts, and this damages their minds. Those who will not forgive wrongs curse themselves and their descendants to relive them and never find peace. 

Forgiveness releases one from the past? 

The past is finished, but unforgiveness acts as a chain to bind us to it. So, it binds the unforgiving to their past. And they will repeat it as long as they remain chained to it. Unforgiveness is slavery perfected. Eternally bound to the past and all its pain.

#ConversationsWithHim

Ten Days of Praise Again: Day 1

I feel as if I'm drifting on some current that I can't see. I don't know where I am in the stream of time or location. I just drift along, in a quarantine daze, waiting for the next bend in the river.

I've been seeing several challenges on Facebook about posting 10 selfies, 10 albums, etc. In 2015 I took up a personal challenge to blog 10 days of praise. The parameters were simple. Write a post of praise for ten days. Not a post thanking God for things. Not a post listing needs for God to answers. Just posts praising God. Here's the original post:

From Ten Days of Praise: Day 1
I bury myself in the dirt of depression, dejection, and disappointment. I do not know why or how that happens. I spend days in despair at the problems that arise with the sun. Yet, you are the resurrection, the way, the truth, and the life. I should not be buried. I'm alive because of your greatness, your grace, and your goodness.

 How can I spend day after day after day wallowing in my misery when you stand right there, with your hand extended to help me up? You, oh Lord, are the light unto my path, the lamp to my feet, and the peace that passes all understanding.

On the darkest days, you, Oh Lord, are my light to guide me through the darkest tunnels, and illuminate the deepest crevasses. You are the hope of the day and the assurance of the night. When I can walk no more, you carry me.

You are so much more than the sum of all my problems. You are worthy of all my praise.

********

Today, I will add here. You are the source of all my Praise!

Join me, if you dare, in writing Praise Posts for 10 days and sharing them. During this crisis, let us lift our heart, hands, and our words to God and give Him all the praise.

Locked Doors

Today I've started seeing more photos of those dying from the virus. When I see those, it becomes very scary. I'm still a bit younger, but not that much. And then I see younger folks who have recovered talking about how bad it is. There is no good news, is there?

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25.

Oh, well, you know what I mean.

No good news regarding the virus. That's true. 

Can't you please stop this?

No one wants my help. The world has spent decades attempting to eradicate my existence. I am banished from the planet by the inhabitants. I do not go where I am not invited. 

Me either. Not all of us feel that way.

No, but majority rules apply in your world. Until that world sincerely wants a Savior, I can't act. If you call for help and then bolt the doors and windows, it is unlikely you will receive help.

It's sounds horrible.

I gave man free will. That comes with responsibility and consequences. I did not create sin, sickness, or death. They are the inventions of man. Yet, I did send help. Man killed and buried that help and has attempted to bury every mention and destroy every representative. It doesn't get much clearer than that. 

Humanity did not and never has wanted my help. They are at the mercy of their own actions. Those who have chosen to follow me are few. But remember this, I've never ignored a sincere call from my people. 

I know this. And I know that just because we ask, doesn't mean this virus will disappear.

The laws of nature are cruel but irrevocable. The world is out of balance. And the consequences are inevitable.

Be merciful, Lord.

If I were not, the world would have ended many times over. 

#ConversationsWithHim

Beyond That Point

So many people frightened.

I know. People I haven't talked to in years are calling.

... Oh ... wow.

I don't mind, but they don't listen. Breaks my heart.

...

What? Didn't you think I cared?

Yes, of course. I just hadn't thought of it from that perspective.

No one does.

I'm sorry. Are you complaining?

What? No! Of course not. I'm so happy to hear from them. I wish they'd call more often. And perhaps before it's too late.

Is it too late?

For some, yes. For many more in the coming days.

I've been concerned.

You've been terrified. 

Well, maybe a little.

No. A lot. But for you, that's nothing new.

Oh. Wow.

Hmm, yeah. 

I am trying to do better, for Sarah's sake. But the situation is so dangerous for me.

For you, every situation is dire.

Uh...

Close your mouth. Listen, you're always worried about something. And a suppressed immune system is something to be concerned about, particularly when viruses abound. Durning a pandemic, I completely understand. 

I sense a 'but'.

But you tell me you trust me. 

I do!

With what?

Why with ... with ... everything!

And if you get this virus?

I don't want to get this virus! I'm trying to stay isolated and sterilize everything possible.

But what if you get the virus?

I don't know. I have people relying on me. I can't think about that because I ...

Because you don't know what to do if it happens. You have no contingency plan. 

No.

And neither does anyone else. No one prepared for this day. The panic set in because no one ever believed the entire population could become ill in a matter of weeks. The idea most of the world could perish in a matter of days is incomprehensible to humanity. And yet it has happened before. You people never learn from the past.

I know. I studied the past for 5 years!

Ah. But with that knowledge, you still don't trust me.

I try. Very hard.

I know. Enough?

... I don't know. I hope so.

You're painfully honest. 

People don't like it. Not good if you want friends.

We're friends. I find it refreshing. 

I do trust you. It isn't the destination I fear; I fear the journey.

So, what is the post really about?

Don't I trust you?

I think you do up to a point. It is beyond that point that you can't see and that frightens you far more than this virus.

What do I do?

You'll never see beyond that point, blinded by fear. It isn't your trust that is the problem.

Oh ... It's my fear.

These talks are just the best, aren't they?

#ConversationsWithHim

Surfing the Stars

I've stood in a forest on a cool morning at daybreak and filled my lungs with the clean scent of the woods. I've sat on warm sandy beaches and watched the waves rolling in, the ocean breeze blowing in so hard it scraped my hair back even as the sand baked everything that touched it. I've stood on mountaintops in the Alps and stared out over a valley far below and it made me dizzy. As a kid I lived in the country and I lay on the warm summer grass and stared up into a night sky and lost my breath at the feeling of falling into space.

I can't ever forget those sensations. Even now, years from them all, I remember. The feeling inside me, that something is expanding until I can't contain it. I couldn't put a name to it but it was as real as the skin on my bones.

There is a limitlessness that opens up in me, as if I'm suddenly hollowed out and there is nothing that can fill the space. I become this vast forest, the restlessness of the rolling ocean, the towering height of the mountain. And the stars, oh, the stars whisper to me, begging me to explore them.

Silly, isn't it?

Admittedly, I was young when I lived these moments. Not even 30. I think I'd do nearly anything to relive them. Stand in the forest, sit on the beach, climb the mountain, and lie in the grass on a summer night watching the stars all sound like heaven to me. I'm awed by them even in memories. It is unlikely I'll ever do any of it again.

Oh, I can watch the sky in my backyard but there is nothing like a sky with no city light to dim its glory. There are documentaries that can provide me with astounding images of forest, oceans, and mountains. They can't connect me. There won't be the breathlessness, the warmth, or the enormity of it all.

There is only one place I've been able to experience anything like all those sensations. When I am sitting in the presence of God, whether it is in church or in a private time of prayer. There is this moment, it always seems brief, that I touch something so clean, so warm, and so vast that I can't explain it. That hollow place expands to the point I don't exist anymore or if I do, I'm infinitesimally small. That's when the wonder sets in.

That something so vast, so good, so great could have an interest in something so small and not good boggles the mind. My mind can't understand it. My spirit can't believe it. My soul craves it. To sit with the Savior, for one moment, is as wonderful as surfing the stars.

How I wanted to surf the stars! Maybe that's something I will get to do someday.