Thursday, May 30, 2024

Broken Vessels

It’s a mess.

Hmmm, yes. I have to agree. 

I don’t know how I can fix it. 

Well, you have glue and time. 

……!

What?

Glue and time? I think it will take more than that. Even if I had baling wire and duct tape, I couldn’t fix it!

Don’t be silly. Duct tape can fix anything.

Are you serious?

No, but I can see you are. Why don’t we just pick up the pieces and put them in this box? 

Ah. Good idea. We can bury it in the backyard.

Oh … well, no, that’s not what I had in mind. I thought we could put it here on the shelf until you’re feeling less stressed. Then, we can sit down together and put it back together. 

Will I ever be “less stressed”? I can’t remember how that feels. Besides, broken is broken. Even if I could put back together, it wouldn’t be the same. 

Nothing is ever the same once it’s broken. We can mend it, patch it, glue it … even duct tape it. In the end, well, you get it. 

….

Something is going on up there, in that head of yours. 

No. I’m just disappointed. I really liked it. I always felt cheerful when I saw it. And now I don’t. 

You can throw it away, if you’d like. Find something to replace it. 

No. {sigh} 

Well?

We have to mend it. Somehow, put it back together. 

So it matters to you?

Well, not really. But I suspect it matters to you. So, it has to be mended. No one knows it’s broken but me. 

In Japan, they repair things using gold, silver, or platinum. It’s called Kintsugi, and it means golden joinery.

I’ve seen it. It can be beautiful. 

Yes. This ancient Japanese art of mending broken objects with gold is symbolic of embracing our struggles and repairing ourselves with love. 

I don’t have any gold, silver, or platinum. 

Oh, I think we can find some. I have pots of the stuff.

I don’t know … 

Embracing our struggles, our brokenness. That's what this is about. And repairing that brokenness with love.

What if this doesn’t work?

Brokenness mended with gold? Why wouldn’t it? We can’t remake the vessel because it’s hardened. But, we can take a broken vessel and mend the cracks and restore its beauty and usefulness. I like that idea.

Well … OK. But … could you do the repairs? I don’t know where to start.

I started weeks ago. 


#ConversationWithHim

Thursday, May 9, 2024

Lessons from the Gadarene


The Adult Bible Class lesson last Sunday was about the lunatic living among the tombs. This is a fascinating story because it contains so much detail about the man and what happened to him. I’ve read it many times and heard many people teach on it. 

During the lesson, I’m afraid I got a bit off track. The teacher, who is an excellent teacher, went one way, but I followed the voice in my head down a different path. I don't do this deliberately, it just happens and I can't predict when it will happen. I take notes during teaching and preaching. I noted the scriptures used and the subject of the lesson. That’s when I lost him. 

The story revolves around a man compelled by the townspeople to live in the cemetery amid the tombs. He inflicts violence on others and cuts himself using sharp rocks. Despite their efforts to restrain him, he exhibits extraordinary power, allowing him to break the chains and shatter the shackles used to restrain him. Mark states he has an unclean spirit.

I’m including the text of the story here if you want to read it. Pay particular attention to the details about his condition, his behavior, and the nature of the spirit.

(Mar 5:1-20) They came to the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes.  When he had come out of the boat, immediately a man with an unclean spirit met him out of the tombs.

He lived in the tombs. Nobody could bind him any more, not even with chains, because he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him, and the fetters broken in pieces. Nobody had the strength to tame him. Always, night and day, in the tombs and in the mountains, he was crying out, and cutting himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and bowed down to him, and crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have I to do with you, Jesus, you Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, don’t torment me.”

For he said to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” He asked him, “What is your name?”

He said to him, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” He begged him much that he would not send them away out of the country.

Now on the mountainside there was a great herd of pigs feeding. All the demons begged him, saying, “Send us into the pigs, that we may enter into them.”

At once Jesus gave them permission. The unclean spirits came out and entered into the pigs. The herd of about two thousand rushed down the steep bank into the sea, and they were drowned in the sea.

Those who fed them fled, and told it in the city and in the country. The people came to see what it was that had happened. They came to Jesus, and saw him who had been possessed by demons sitting, clothed, and in his right mind, even him who had the legion; and they were afraid.

Those who saw it declared to them what happened to him who was possessed by demons, and about the pigs. They began to beg him to depart from their region.

As he was entering into the boat, he who had been possessed by demons begged him that he might be with him. He didn’t allow him, but said to him, “Go to your house, to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how he had mercy on you.”

He went his way, and began to proclaim in Decapolis how Jesus had done great things for him, and everyone marveled.

If you know anyone with teenage children, you may know someone with a child who has cut themselves. This behavior is not recognized as a mental disorder but an “emotional illness”. About17% of teenagers engage in self-harm at least once, according to the American Psychological Association.1 Furthermore, about 50% of those who do self-harm commit suicide. This behavior usually begins between the ages of 12 and 14.

Based on the citation, we can tell the Gadarenes lunatic was in a dire condition. We’re not told how long he’d been there, but based on the narrative, it had been a long time. He had survived, but not by much. He spent his days roaming the graveyard, crying out and harming himself. 

By comparing the Biblical narrative to modern medicine, we can conclude that this spirit continues to exist. Mark called it an unclean spirit and maybe that was all the disciples knew at first. Until the lunatic ran to Jesus and he revealed the problem. 

They learned several things in the encounter:

1. There wasn’t just one spirit. In the Roman Empire, a legion fluctuated between 3,000 and 6,000 soldiers. The term “many” didn’t describe what lived inside this man.

2. He possessed superhuman strength and could break chains and smash iron shackles in pieces.

3. He used sharp rocks to cut himself. He harmed his own body.

4. He went about crying aloud. People heard him and knew him.

5. The legion did not want to be separated. And Jesus allowed their request!

I found it most interesting that the demons were begging not to separate them or randomly send them into the countryside. Why? What impact would it have if he sent the demons randomly into the countryside? They’d find other hosts, perhaps a clean house of sorts. Or they’d find multiple hosts. Why did they beg to be sent into pigs, who, as far as we know, wouldn’t know a demon from a cold? They were the ones who suggested pigs. Obviously, they didn’t know the pigs would commit suicide before they’d live with demons inside them. And what happens to the host if they die with those things in them? 

I have so many questions, but here are my thoughts on it. 

Separation reduced the demonic power by thousands. So, demons are rather weak. They aren’t as effective alone as they are in mass. Therefore, someone under attack by a demon is likely being attacked on several fronts by multiple demons just like the Gadarene. If demons are that weak, no wonder they fear a single, righteous person. They require reinforcements to make any impact. 

Why not send them into the countryside? Logistics. Sending them into the countryside would force them to find new, multiple hosts and with weakened control. With Jesus in the neighborhood, that might be difficult. 

Why the pigs? Jews considered pigs unclean and neither ate nor handled them. In theory, they’d be safe there. And aberrant behavior in an animal might not draw as much attention. There were 2,000 pigs in the field. Based on the common size of a legion, that must have been just enough.  

Jesus granted the request of demons! Back the truck. What in the world? Jesus answered the prayer/pleading of demons. WHY? Well, what happened to the demons when the pigs threw themselves off the cliff and died?

Death releases the spirit to return to the Creator for judgement. There is no refund, no reboot. Every single body, whether it's a human or an animal, is basically a container. Death opens the door to a new existence with an entry fee. That those pigs had no desire to live with evil creatures inside them is astounding. Those demons could not predict that reaction. I suspect that the death of the pigs sent that legion back to the pit. Their decision to stay together and maintain their power became their ticket home. 





Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Your Anointing Is Not for You! What?


 A while ago, last year, in fact, I listened to a video of a minister that made me think about some things differently. I took a few notes to share them in a post, but as things usually go, I turned the page and forgot about it. 

Today I flipped through my notebook and ran across my notes from that video, and I think now is as good a time as any to share it. I have to be honest here and say that this information gave me insight into some things that have troubled me a lot. 

The anointing you have is not for you. It's for others. Elijah died of sickness, but his bones still raised the dead. However, he couldn't heal himself! The devil doesn't care about you. He cares about those you will helpSo stopping you prevents you from helping others. 

So, the last two statements opened up a whole avenue of revelation. Now, months later, that avenue has broadened. I don't know that it made me feel better, but it seemed to explain some things so that now I pray for an understanding of what I learned.

Looking for answers is often like beating your head against a wall. I don't know about others, but I spend a lot of time struggling with the "whys" of my journey. There are times I know things and they seem so pointless because I can't do anything useful with it. I can't use what I know in any way that produces something positive. So I pray about it and walk away. That feels like defeat. 

Then there's the writing. I write this blog because these thoughts pour out and demand to be written. I have to do something with them. The important ones won't leave me alone until they're written. I have no earthly idea if a single person reads it, needs it, or heeds it. I just pray for something good to come of it. Sometimes, I'm the one who needs it. Sometimes I read it and wonder what in the world it means. 

This post, though, this one is for my enlightenment. I needed to know this. Desperately needed to know. I'm tired of feeling like a failure, tired of wondering why my gifts don't work FOR me. It never occurred that they weren't FOR me. There are things I am called on to do that I can't, for the life of me, figure out why I have to do them. Only God and I know about it. I do them but ... they aren't my favorite things. It's exhausting, stressful, and feels risky. And yet, this is something I've had to do again and again for YEARS! Sometimes I see some positive results and others, a dismal failure. I know the failure isn't my fault. But it's still a disappointment when it happens. Each time I think this task won't happen again. I ask God, "Why do you keep sending me this? I'm no good at it!" And yet, it arrives. 

This brief message from a stranger is an explanation that fits. I'm just an instrument to perform a task. I don't benefit from it in any tangible way. Because it's not FOR ME. That's hard to grasp, hard to accept.  

Only I'm OK with it. When you can be of service, expecting nothing in return, that in itself is a gift.


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