This Isn't Jesus

 Today I went looking for Jesus. I found this.

This isn't Jesus. 

So, I looked some more. There are a lot of places to look and practically everyone knows where to find him. This is a nice doll. 

But it isn't Jesus. 

I found this statue. It is so lovely and really makes me smile. It reminds me of Jesus and how he loved children.

But this isn't Jesus. 

So, I kept looking.

I found this photo. He's kind of dark. Well, he was a Jew. I know he wasn't white, and he wasn't black. He wasn't Chinese or Russian. He wasn't Nordic, either. Just a simple Jewish carpenter. 

But this isn't Jesus. 

I felt tired after searching so much. My neck hurt. My back hurt. But I needed to settle this argument about Jesus and what he looked like. 

So, I kept looking. 

This one. Wow, this could be him, I think. But he looks so tired and careworn. There're deep lines in his face, as if all the stress in the world is pressing in. The shoulders are bent beneath some burden I can't see or understand. And he's all alone. I think he might look very much like this right now.

But this isn't Jesus.

You won't find Jesus in a photo, a painting, a sculpture, or a stained glass window. You won't find him on a crucifix. He isn't in a greeting card or on a Christmas tree. 

I've traveled a lot in my life, and I've seen Jesus many times, in many places. Sometimes, he was there ahead of me. Sometimes, I lose him, but he always finds me.

I've seen him here. Every time I attend a worship service, he's there with me. 

You might try that.

If you're looking for Jesus.

You can find him here or someone who needs him.

I'm sure you can find him here, too. You may have to look very hard because they're not thinking about him or talking about him. But he's there, even though he may not be welcome.

I'm sure many of these guys talked to Jesus more than once. 

If you ask this person, they may know him! And if they don't, and you do, you could introduce them. I suspect they could use friends right now. Maybe a hot meal, too.

And I'm sure you'll find him here! He loves to feed the hungry. There is not a single bread line, food kitchen, or shelter where you can't find Jesus. Those feeding the hungry are his best friends. They're his people. The destitute, homeless, hungry, lonely, sad, depressed, desperate. They are all his people, too. 

So why doesn't he help them? Because that's the job he gave you. 

If you don't know what Jesus looks like by now, you haven't been looking. And you're the one who needs him the most. 

The Dreams We Dream Or What the Cat Saw In the Night

 

Well.

Yes, well. 

Things have been happening.

They usually do, if you let them.

I had nothing to do with any of it. Things were fine, calm and collected. I did not rock the boat.

No, that's true. Of course, you don't live on an island — .

Not my choice either!

Right. Well, we are all connected and when something happens —.

Please tell me you're not going to give me the "Butterfly Theory".

Oh. You've heard about that.

I saw the movie. 

Oh. Well.

Seems we're back where we started. 

No, we're still in the same place. Time has moved forward and as you said, things have been happening. 

It's been very difficult this time. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired.

I know. You told me the other night. I'm sorry that you feel so awful. I hear you. I see you. I AM here.

Do you know, I woke up last night, briefly. I was sleeping facing my door. I rolled over and tried to open my eyes but couldn't, except one eye. I turned my head toward the window and I thought I saw a very tall man standing by the window. I think he was looking out. But he'd paused for a moment to touch that plaster anchor on the wall, like he was adjusting it or something. It has a scripture on it: Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

A man?

Yes. I blinked and got the other eye open; but he'd disappeared.

Were you afraid?

That's why I remember it so well. I wasn't. I was half asleep, but I looked again before I closed my eyes. I turned back over and just as I drifted off, the word Guardian went through my mind. 

Interesting.

I just checked that position of the anchor. He was at least 6 feet tall. 

You've had dreams where you woke thinking you saw someone.

Yes. With my heart pounding, and I'd jump nearly out of bed. Sometimes I'd yell out loud. No, this wasn't that. You know what else is strange?

What?

I think he, it, whatever, woke me. I thought I heard a sound. I rolled over to see. And strangest of all, Jet was looking at it, too. He sleeps on that side of the bed, on the pillow. I saw him as I rolled over, staring at that window.

Ah.

I'll never know for sure, will I?

Well, maybe someday you'll know everything. 

{sigh} Yeah. I'd really like that. 

 

All The Way

 So it's 1 in the morning and I was getting ready for bed. I went to the bathroom to brush my hair and put it in a ponytail before going to bed. I made a comment in the mirror.  

"It seems like my life has been one disaster after another. Lord, I don't know how you managed to get me this far."

As clear as day the thought came into my mind, "Kicking and screaming all the way."

#Conversations with Him