Raveled Sleave of Care

 You met her, didn't you?

It was an unpleasant experience. She just took over. Totally wrecked me. I'm tired, but I don't think I'll sleep. 

Lie down. Close your eyes and think on these things. 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phillipians 4:8

I am not there. I'm not there. 

I know. But you still have to think on these things. 

You'll have to draw me a map today. I don't know where any of that is. Planet Earth. That's where I am. I don't know if you'll find any of that here. 

I didn't say you had to find them. They are already done. You just have to think about them. 

I ... would it be wrong to say I don't want to look anymore? 

It would be pretty stupid. You're not generally stupid.

I'm in so much pain right now that I am not capable of seeing anything beyond my nose. It's dark where I am. You know I am so messed up. Right? You know this. 

I am all the light you need. 

I'm just going to be honest here. I am in a dark place. No light visible. I know. Sounds disrespectful. That screaming woman? The one I said was behind me? Not anymore. She's in me. She is me. I'm her. 

........

Nothing? 

When you're ready. Go get some sleep.

You know Shakespeare?

I taught him everything he knew.

Right. I had to look it up to remember it all. "Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care". From Macbeth. The sleave was a skein of yarn. I've dealt with those, and it isn't that easy either. But OK, I'll go.