A Terrifying Adventure

Well, that was uneventful.

You were expecting fireworks?

One does on New Year’s. I heard a few explosions so wasn’t a total bust but that stomach bug wasn’t nice.

You’re tired. You haven’t slept in 24 hrs.  

I know. I’m going to bed soon, though. I had something I needed to do.

Really?

Mm, yes. I wanted to take a minute to tell you how very grateful I am to see the start of a new year. I’m so thankful for all you have carried me through and all the provisions you’ve made for me. 

You’re welcome. There were a few times I wondered. 

Yes, about that. I’m sorry. I get so overwhelmed these days. There was a time when I could handle a lot more but ... that’s long gone. I’m tired of trying to be perfect and to cope with ... everything. But I am glad you’ve kept me safe, provided for my needs, and blessed me with your presence. You are my anchor.

Well, it makes me happy to help you. But you know, you don’t have to be perfect or cope with everything. You could try letting me handle more of it. 

It frightens me when I can’t control things that need control. I once thrived on handling all the problems, now I can’t seem to deal with the simplest ones. And those big ones, I can’t begin ...

Then don’t. Just let them go. You’ve been trying to do that more. I’ve noticed. But you have a long way to go. Some things you can’t fix.  

I’ve taken care of things so long. What if something goes wrong? What if something bad happens? I can’t risk letting my guard down. There are people who depend on me.

Yes, I know. They all trust you. Now, why don’t you trust me. I’ve got big shoulders. 

I do. I’m trying. Sometimes we need a real human hug and real human shoulders. It is what I miss most of Jerry. When it got hard, there were those hugs and shoulders. 

Stop looking back. Face forward, one foot in front of the other. Today is the first day of a new year. Here, just take my hand. 

I don’t know what’s ahead.

For now, there’s nothing ahead. Today is all there is. The future is not formed yet. It is only a series of potential events shaped by those who move forward, into it. You can turn left or right and that decision is the catalyst. What lies ahead only takes shape as you move through it. Stop trying to see what doesn’t exist.  

I never thought about it like that. It’s a little terrifying.

All adventures are terrifying. The adventure keeps you moving. 


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