The Things That Keep Me Awake At Night

 Don't say I didn't warn you. The following is unedited and was the brain dump that woke me up. I have NO idea what this is all about. Apparently, it doesn't matter what I think. It is.

Truth is truth, whether you believe it or not. Truth is not dependent on your belief. It will be truth even if you don’t accept it. And it will be truth, if you accept it. 

You can disbelieve in the wind, but your unbelief will not affect the direction it blows. Neither will your belief in the wind. The wind and truth are unaffected by your view of it. 

Truth is reality and is perfect. As such, you can not change it. If you attempt to change truth, it is no longer truth nor perfect. You will have created a construct that is flawed and is not truth.

You can’t prove the truth, neither can you disprove it. No matter what you do or think, the truth is unaffected by you. It remains when all else does not. Truth IS.

Jesus said he was the way, the truth, and the life. No matter what you believe, you can’t change it. You can’t prove it. Neither can you disprove it. You can only believe or disbelieve and neither of those things will alter the truth. It will still be Truth when you and I are dust.

You can deny truth. But your denial is irrelevant. Truth is not dependent on your belief. It is still truth.

Pilate said, “What is truth?” when he stood before it. He could not recognize it because he did not recognize truth. His failure to recognize truth did not affect it. When he washed his hands, his actions made his question irrelevant. Belief and disbelief both do not affect truth.

Truth does not depend on your understanding. It is truth, even if you don’t understand it, recognize it, or believe it. Truth is outside your influence. 

A Waiting Game

It's been a rough month. You're thinking, "When is it not for you?" I complain a lot and whine a lot and ... well, cry a lot. I've come so far since Covid. Most of it's downhill. It's very frustrating. I had signed up at the gym, lost 20 lbs and was feeling stronger when 2019 ended. 

I caught Covid in October 2020 and from then on, I haven't been able to get my feet back under me. I tried to keep going to the gym, but I caught Covid again in 2021 and in 2022. They were less severe each time, but I was still pretty sick.

The last year I didn't put in much effort. Managing pain was a priority. So was reading my Bible and praying more often. I made plans to do several writing assignments. Everything fell apart. 

Somewhere in 2024, my finances collapsed, and I was floundering to get from one month to the next dealing with home repairs and auto repairs and medical issues. And just paying the bills was scary. I have to tell you I was at the end of my rope. When Amanda moved in it relieved some of the pressure. Last year would have been impossible without her support. She required lodging; I required funds; thus, I took a boarder—something I'd not previously envisioned. It has worked so well and she's a great house mate.  

Other cost-saving measures provided relief; thankfully, God is mindful of our needs. He is always faithful, even when we falter. 

I feel like I'm in a stagnant place; not moving forward or backward. Just stuck. Maybe the best thing to do is pull up a stool and sit down. Sometimes all you can do is wait. I have nowhere to go, so ... I'll wait.

There's Gold if you Dig

 I'm sitting here, looking at photos of the flood damage from Helene and a thought just popped into my head. I don't know why because it has absolutely nothing to do with floods. 

You won't find gold lying on the ground.

And that's true. Even with placer mining, where a miner uses water to separate gold from other particles in water, it's not lying about like your old socks. 

In order to find it, you'll have to dig or engage in placer mining, which may require building a sluice. You must have water to operate the sluice. You can mine with a pan in river and stream beds. But originally, all that gold came from a mountain somewhere. Nature shifted it to create a more accessible path. 

Gold is valuable. Stories of gold mining and its effects on the formation of nations fill history books. Gold moves mountains. Really. People have fought wars over gold. Every city built around gold mines experienced violence daily. It wasn't because people didn't like each other, but because greed breeds violence. And gold breeds greed.

Other things are valuable, too. Perhaps not as intrinsically valuable as gold, but value is often in the beholder's eye. Some eschew possessions and so gold is worthless to them. They seek value elsewhere. 

So what is the point? That was my question. What does that statement mean?

Things of real value are hard to find. Not because they aren't available, but because they require effort to reach. You're going to have to search for the worthwhile things in life, and it won't be 'things'. You can dig in a mountain and you might find gold, but on a cold dark night when your soul aches, it won't do you any good. When you stand by the grave of the love of your life, all that waits outside the cemetery is meaningless. When your child is lying in a hospital, you won't be worried about the job, the house, the bills, or the bank account. 

You won't find gold lying on the ground. Hidden treasures are not for the foolish. Real treasures are not finite.