Food for Thought

A few weeks ago, May 19th to be exact, I was reading my Bible and had a few thoughts come to mind. I intended to share them then but if I stop reading to do something else I don't go back to it. So I just jotted the thoughts down and continued. Well, I forgot to get back to it. I can't remember the context of what I wrote. However, the importance of the words remains.

Jesus said he was the light of the world, but he also said we were to let our light shine. Light is a funny thing. It illuminates things, makes it easy to see. It also has a unique characteristic. The darker the surroundings, the brighter the light seems. If the light is bright enough, it can actually banish the dark. The dark may still be around us, but as long as we have our light, it can't come near us. When moths see light, they swarm around it for warmth. If our light shines bright enough, it will draw others to our light.

Jesus also said "you are the salt of the earth". Salt is so important to the flavor of most foods. Mashed potatoes, for example, without salt are just a mashed up root. You can add butter to it but it will only be marginally better. No pun intended. You add the salt and you can hand me a fork. 

Salt is also an antiseptic. If you wash a wound in salt water, it will cleanse it and the wound will heal much faster. Salt on window ledges and doorways will keep out ants. Here's the thing. Salt in the box is useless. It must used to be effective. It adds flavor to virtually anything it touches and cleanses. 

Jesus also mentions leaven in the Bible. Leaven is simply another word for yeast. It is necessary in most bread making to make the loaf rise. Leaven, like light and salt, has special properties. First, it is alive. It is a living fungus that, when given sugar and water releases carbon dioxide, and that's what makes bread fluffy. However, if you don't use it, it will die. Once leaven dies, you must throw it out. If you use it, your breads won't rise. They may still be bread, but no one is going to want to eat that.

Light, salt, and leaven. Interesting foods. And the Bible says we are to possess the properties of them all. We should strive to give light to those in darkness, flavor and cleansing to those hungry and wounded, and expand our influence to every person we meet.

 

Unpacking

 I really have to be careful what I pray for these days. I've been working through some things and asking God to remove negative things from my life. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, and people. It seems to be working. Hardly anyone ever calls me anymore. Ha Ha Ha!

Seriously, I've had a few things happen that kind of stopped me in my tracks. One Sunday before I got up for church, I had a dream about some people from my past who caused me a lot of stress and turmoil. In the dream they were very unkind, saying the things they thought about me. I woke so depressed that it affected my entire day. 

Why had I dreamed about people I haven't seen in years and who I didn't really care about? At least I didn't think I cared. I realized pretty quickly that this was about some unopened baggage that I needed to handle. I have since prayed about it and I hope I've donated that luggage to Him. 

Another time memories from another past connection came back to me and overwhelmed me with so much hatred for that person I would have hurt them physically if opportunity and conscience allowed. No, really. It scared me. I prayed about it. I still deal with powerful emotions over it but I'm working to get totally past that. 

This week I'm dealing with trust issues. My childhood contained a lot of traumas. My grandparents raised me. They were Mama & Daddy. Daddy drank a lot on the weekends and on every holiday. Those days are full of terrible memories. My parents basically left me, move in opposite directions, and never looked back. All the people I relied on, except Mama, failed me. Other relatives stepped in where they could to fill gaps. Still, the result is I grew up believing if something needed doing, I'd be better off doing it myself. And if I wanted it done right, I definitely had to do it myself. I trust no one to solve my problems or resolve anything. It affected my life and the lives of my family. 

This is what hit me in the last 24 hours. 

"You don't trust me either."

"But I do!"

"Think about it for a moment."

I did. "No, I do trust you."

"You've asked me several things several times. And you've instructed me on how to resolve the issues."

"Well, yes, but..."

"Do you really think I don't know what I'm doing?"

"No, I know you do. I just want you to understand what I'm asking."

"Uh, I understand English, even your drawling vowels."

"Ouch."

"Sorry but you need to realize that I'm not any of those people who let you down."

"I know that! I never thought that."

"Yes, somewhere, deep down inside, you don't trust me to handle your problems. You are so afraid the outcome will not be up to your expectations. You want to handle it yourself. Then you would know it was done correctly."

"No. I can't fix these things. I can't do them. Only you can."

"Then let me do it. And let me do it my way. And on my timeline."

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"You're right. I have trust issues. I don't trust me either. I don't trust me to make the right decision. I don't trust other people to do the right thing. I don't trust anyone. I don't know how. I know you take care of me, have provided for everything I need."

"But you don't think I can fix the concerns you've expressed to me."

"No."

"Thank you!"

"For what?"

"Being honest. You'd be surprised how many people think they can fool me."

"No. I'm probably one of them."

"Half the battle is admitting you have a problem."

"I have several."

"One thing at a time, please. Trust me!"

"Help me."

"I can't if you don't trust me."

"Oh. Well,.... can we talk about this time thing?"

"No!"

"But I really don't think I have that much time left."

"This isn't a production line! And if it were, you're not in charge."  

"Right. You're right."

"You only get points for telling the truth once."

"I'm going to do better. Really."

"I trust you."

"Oh.....

 

#ConversationswithHim