A Rotten Assignment

Today my skin hurts. My hips hurt. My feet hurt. I am tired and would like to curl up in a warm bed with my hands under the covers. That means sacrificing my sleep tonight. I got plenty of sleep last night but I suspect the raging inflammation in my body is creating fatigue as it tries in vain to fight off the inflammation. By bedtime, I'll be exhausted and depressed because I've lost another day I could have been productive and wasn't. 

I want to write, to work on my book but I can't think. I've tried to read but I can't focus for more than a few minutes. I suspect this is a bit like an attention deficit feels but can't be sure. I feel fidgety and restless but I'm too tired to do anything to combat it. 

Yesterday was a great day. I cleaned house and put away some of the laundry. I washed a load, too. Beds got made and floors swept. I cut the back yard and found time to play with the grandkids. Today is a black hole swallowing my life.

This is a pretty negative post for a praise blog, isn't it? And yet, I'm OK with that. My intention has always been, from the inception to make this a place that I praised God. How better to do that than when I'm miserable? Jeremiah was able to do it in a dark dungeon, in a pit of mud up to his armpits. They couldn't even go down and get him. They had to send a rope down and drag him out. For all my pain, I think he was in a worse place than me. You can bet he wasn't happy with his situation, but he didn't forget God. 

Despite how I feel, God is still real. He's still faithful. He still loves me. No matter how dark the dungeon, how deep the mire, God is a deliverer. My pain doesn't mean He isn't God. And it doesn't mean he isn't worthy of praise. I'm fairly confident that once the clouds clear and the rain passes my pain will ease. I'll find myself sitting on the patio staring up into a bright blue sky, the red umbrella sheltering me from the sun and I'll be thinking of how very great God is all the time. More clouds may roll in but God will still be God. He'll still be faithful. 

Life is all about change. Our situation can change in an instant, from good to bad and back again. Our response may vary but one aspect should remain fixed. God is amazing and worthy to be praised. That doesn't mean we can't moan in pain and cry. We hurt and the body is designed to deal with pain in predictable ways but although our pain is beyond our control, our minds are not. 

Yes, I rail against circumstances. To no avail. I rant and rave and get angry at my life going off the rails. I didn't sign up for this, did I? This was not in my plans! No, we were drafted. For whatever reason, this is the assignment we were given and we have to make the best of it. Sometimes it is the worst duty assignment.  But...

God is still faithful. He never fails. Get this, the Creator of the Universe is in charge of your life, your circumstances, your future. Who better to be in charge?