50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

There is an article that came across my feed today on Facebook about the release of a new movie. It appears on Spirit-Led Woman:  What Fifty Shades of Gray Says about Desire. I found it interesting and far tamer than I suspect this post will be. Right now, there are scads of these being published as we speak. You'd be better off reading some of those but at least I'll have my say.

I have many friends on FB of all faiths, and some who don't follow a faith. If anyone disagrees with the article, or my opinion, I respect that and am not targeting you. You can move along now. This reflects my opinion and those who know me even a little already know this.

When I began to see post by some of my Christian female relatives and close friends saying they are excited about this movie coming out, I was stunned.  As a woman of faith who is very aware of who I represent, it concerns me when women I expect more of, lower their standards of behavior until it no longer reflects that of a woman of God. And yes, we all have different views of what that looks like but I think if we're following Biblical teachings we're headed in the right direction.

I suppose you can call me out of touch, old fashioned, or a prude. None of that would be true but you can say it. I am an independent woman and was just as independent as a married woman. I was raised by a very strong minded independent woman who did not pull any punches in her opinions. She taught me to speak my mind and while I try to do it with grace and restraint, I will always speak the truth to you. That being said, this is directed to my sisters in the Spirit.

I've never considered myself a feminist but I grew up during the 60's when it was exploding. Some viewed it as a bad thing. I tend to think it was a good thing misused and misunderstood. Women had been exploited and abused in silence, still are in some ways. There are times when you have to say something harsh to make people hear you. That movement made people take notice and do something, albeit not enough, to fix some of the problems.

The 60's feminist movement was about taking power back. In many ways that movement did make many things better for us. It opened some doors to rooms which, although large, still had glass ceilings. It gave us access to so many opportunities, so many fields. It meant, in many cases, if we were intelligent, our voices could be heard and respected. It also meant women didn't have to allow themselves to be subjugated, to be used for another's amusement or twisted pleasures. Women were finally taking their place in society as equals with men. At least they were trying.

Many Christians made the movement out to be wicked. Women were usurping a man's place in the order of things. As with any movement, there are always negatives. Women were finally taking their place in society as equals with men. I think that is how it was originally designed. At least they were trying. I think the positive aspects of the movement far outweigh the negative. And yes, there are some still around who will take exception to that. I don't care.

This novel that is now all the rage is not about love. It is not really about sex, although that seems to be what everyone is talking about. It is about subjugation in the most fundamental way, and not only subjugation but bondage. 

What I want to ask all you modern, supposedly enlightened women is how have we come so far that we are now willing to view subjugation and bondage of a woman as entertainment and titillating? What has happened to your brains? And this it isn't the first of its kind. Remember Pretty Woman? The prostitute living every hooker's dream? Only if you ask the women who actually do the job, many would tell you there is no silver lining and no Prince Charming. 

I suggest you find a woman who had really lived in bondage. Try finding some of the women who are currently living as sexual slaves. Ask them how glamorous their lives are and how much love and excitement they are experiencing. Consider this:

"Trafficking women and children for sexual exploitation is the fastest growing criminal enterprise in the world.1 This, despite the fact international law and the laws of 134 countries criminalize sex trafficking." Global Sex Trafficking Fact Sheet. It further states that 98% of those involved in sexual trafficking are women and children. 

And you think that the hottest book and movie is about a woman involved in sexual bondage. Go figure.

I haven't read the book and I don't intend to read it or see the movie. I had a good friend who knows me well and who's taste I trust that reviewed it and told me what it was about. She said, "Don't waste your time reading it. It is trash. It is badly written and just awful." I appreciated the warning. I don't know what her faith is because it has never come up but her recommendation wasn't based on religion. It was based on the quality of a book, something we both appreciate.

There is an element out there the gets very vituperative about the Christian view of submission. There have been reams of paper, billions of bytes of text written in criticism of it. All with a total lack of understanding of it.  Submission is BAD! It degrades women! It is man abusing his power over women! Really? Really!

And yet, some of those same people have this book on the coffee table and will stand in line to see this movie. Wow. Are you really that stupid? I got a news flash for you. Submission based on Scripture is not anywhere near the subjugation shown in this.

Subjugation is forced submission. One person, exerting their power over another in an effort to make that person conform to their will. It is the conquering of another person.

Real submission is an act of will, a voluntary act generally born out of love and/or respect. 

So, I'm truly horrified that so called Christian women would swoon over a man who is admittedly putting a woman in bondage to get his jollies. And I can't believe any woman could glamorize a woman placed in bondage.

Do you even know the spiritual ramifications to glorying in this stuff? Would you want your daughters to be in the hands of such a man? Would you want your son to be such a man? 

The reason I selected the title of a song for this post was because it struck me as so appropriate. I have set my eyes on the lover of my soul. To betray that love by glorifying things that degrade me as a woman, as a human being, and as a Christian, is unthinkable. Call me what you will. But please don't tell me in one breath how much you love your Lord and in the next, you sell yourself into bondage. Or at the very least sanctioning bondage.


"Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils." 1 Cor. 10:21

"Be not ye therefore partakers with them." Ephesians 5:7 

"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." 2 Peter 1:4 

If that isn't enough, just follow a simple rule.  "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes" Psalm 101:3

If you don't care about the spiritual aspect of this perversion... consider that you are supporting one of the most heinous aspects of the abuse of women. Exploitation and bondage.